this sinful pleasure // satisfaction in the kill // wide.open.space

// procrastination nation!! //
sound: Push It - Garbage

woot! so my huge-ass presentation was a complete success.. the day started out pretty crappy.. i didn't fall asleep till around 7AM because i was fixing up the presentation until around 5:30ish.. then i found out my mail quota was too high.. so i spent the next half hour erasing mail..

soooo i went to bed but i was wide awake for some reason.. so i didn't fall asleep till like 7AM.. then i woke up at like 9:42 and i was supposed to meet my team at 10 X___X;;.. i showed up for meeting more than 20 minutes late and we rehearsed a couple of times.. then we went to our class and waited for two groups present before we went up.. let's just say that we nailed it and everyone in our class was just in awe..

the other presentations were basically very boring and they were the typical classroom presentation "this is our positioning grid, target segments, and financials" so forth.. our presentation told a story and (if i say though myself) the powerpoint (done by me) was fuckin great..

at the end of the day, we had gotten so many "wow.. your presentation was great" that we had completely forgotten abotu the stress we had gone through the day before..

and great feedback from our professors.. it was pretty damn good hehe..

so after the presentation on monday, me and 3 of my team member went to go see a free movie called Alfie featuring Jude Law.. okay, Jude Law is fuckin hot but DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.. it was fuckin beyond all modes of horrible..

it was terrible.. even his beautiful face could not save it.. anyway, after that we went to Uno's and visited my other teammate Eric who works there.. and we watched the Sox game while eating pizza.. i ordered a margarita since i had Eric as a connection..

then walked home with Matt and passed the fuck out.. woke up super late this morning.. around like 11:42 and i had class at 12 X____X and i also remembered this morning that if you're late for the BDW Presenations (the rest of them were today) that it counted as a late in all 4 classes so i freaked out and literally ran to class =P

spent the day watching other team presentations.. then we had a short team meeting for a case that's due tomorrow in class.. it was a pain..

then i went to dinner with Tsi (my teammate) and here i am.. yes, i do spend that much time with my team =P

oh, jo-chan, Tsukamoto Takashi played Mimura from Battle Royale.. i've also posted a pic of him before since we decided that if there was a 36Moons (or more accurately Fate) live action movie, he would play Jo LOL.. so that's you, kinda haha

anyway, here's a survey woot! i think i've started this one maybe like 2 or 3 times but never got to actually finish and post.. here you go!

jacked from toki and like 4 other yakuza

If I were____I would be____

a month... January.. yah, it's my birth month but also cuz it starts out the year.. a time for change and what not..
a day of the week... saturday.. don't have to go to class / work (mostly) and don't have to sleep early to go to either the next day =P
a time of day.... the time that the sun is going down and night comes out when the sky is purple and pink and just a little night sky
a planet... Saturn.. it's my zodiac planet, the most beautiful of all planets because of the rings ^__^
a sea animal... i guess a dolphin.. they're the only other mammals that have sex for fun LOL
a direction... northeast.. basically, where i am relative to the rest of the US lol
piece of furniture... a bed XD
a historical figure... Okita Soji.. young genius swordsmam of Shinsengumi
a liquid... mercury.. deadly but beautiful
a stone... black opal.. so purdy
a tree... ummm.. jeez.. i guess an evergreen
a bird... a falcon.. (these questions are hard)
a tool... a screwdriver
a flower... orchid or jasmine
a kind of weather... cold and sunny
a mythical creature... a phoenix dur LOL
a musical instument... piano
an animal... a black panther
a color... dark, rich green
an emotion.... indifference
a vegetable.... water chestnut
an element..... fire
a car.... Porsche Carrera GT
a song... The Package by APC
a movie... The Professional
a food... vanilla icecream
a place... Boston, MA
a material... cashmere
a taste... salty
a word... solo
an object... reading glasses.. not sure why
a body part... small of back
a facial expression.. a cold stare
a subject in school... physics
a cartoon character... yamazaki susumu PMK
a shape... teardrop
a number... 49
a game/tv/movie character... Mimura Shinji from BR.. both the movie and the manga
a culture... uh.. no idea
a vehicle... look back up at @ "car" one.. Porsche Carrera GT

rarrrrr.. okie so that's done.. i may be going to Montreal this weekend with my team.. it's definitely like the randomest thing ever =P

that'd be awesome though.. since i haven't actually been there before hehe.. mucho the drinking woot!

aright sweethearts.. i'm done here.. toodlz n' bits.

Feenin' for some Tuesday, October 19, 2004, 06:19 p.m.

// sleepiez... //
sound: Cars - Gary Numan

yah, mucho the sleepiez. but i'm also compelled to go out and do something. i like getting drunk on the weekends.. i don't really care with who as long as there is alcohol and people.. i'm more than happy..

it's kinda sad isn't it?

anyway, i'm gonna make this blog quick.. i just felt like posting some pics of Tsukamoto Takashi cuz he's yummy ^^

here's my new desktop.. not the best pic of him but i like the colors and i didn't have to do any editting to it to make it fit so..

and two pics of him.. yuumm

ohhh man do i wish i were a guy so i could fuck him..

wow.. that made no sense yet it did to me and probably to most of the people who read this blog LOL

aright, i'm done here. i'll blog with that survey thingie laterz.. toodlzez.

Feenin' for some Saturday, October 16, 2004, 08:42 p.m.

// eep! //
sound:

two exams starting at 6 and ending at 10..

i'm counting down 45 minutes.. boooooo.

and even though these exams are probably worth like a third of my grade, i'm sitting here blogging instead of reviewing my notes teehee..

oh well, i think i were studying right up to the moment then my brain would get all fried and i'd have nothing up there, ne?

*sigh* two more of these things tomorrow.. gaaahhhh.. and then big presentation monday X_______X;;

wow, school sucks.

anyway, i'm gonna end this here and actually look over my Information Systems review sheet.. that's all, folks.

Feenin' for some Tuesday, October 12, 2004, 05:11 p.m.

// kinda... //
sound:

just a little fucked up... considering that it's taking me much longer to write this entry that i thought it would since there are so many typos that i must correct, i have concluded that i'm slightly intoxicated..

in additon to this, i was also very prone to singing in front of people, talking to other people very openly.. which are two things that i excel at much more when i am indeed intoxicated..

anyway, i'm making ramen right now.. and soon i shall enjoy it's beefy and delicious noodle flavor.. went to a Northeastern party tonight.. i really shouldn't have cuz i didn't get as much studying as i wanted done.. sadly..

i have 4 exams this coming tuesday.. not good. anyway, i'm gonna end this here. gonna go eat my ramen. and then going to sleep mebbe till around 8AMish.. and getting up and going to team meeting/studying and so forth.. adios, amigos.

Feenin' for some Sunday, October 10, 2004, 02:11 a.m.

// is it just me or.. //
sound: Push It - Garbage

is anyone else really disappointed by the HxH GI Final OVA ending?

i mean, yah it was kind of a given that it wouldn't actually show anything like Gon meeting his father but they didn't even reunite with Kurapica and Leorio (which blew, btw since i heart them).. sorrie to those that consider this info a spoiler.. AND! we never got to see the Hisoka and Kuroro battle which woulda been damned awesome..

and THEN! Hisoka and Genei Ryodan just disappear after half of the third OVA.. i figured they'd be more of a factor in the last one..

i think the animators were just trying to end it already.. there coulda been much more content but it seemed to drag (almost like *COUGHNarutoCOUGH*).. the TV series and the first OVA were AMAZING.. filled with twists, angst, great story lines, secondary characters and so forth.. once the second OVA came around, it just got slower and slower.. and then it ends like that. it makes me disappointed.. for those who have not watched any of HxH, just watch up to the end of the first OVA.. u won't be disappointed..

*sigh* that sucks... anyway, i haven't been keeping up with Naruto.. i think after next week i'll start dling again when i have more free time.. my feelings on Naruto haven't changed.. it's a dynamite series but it's just too damn long and there are a lot of pointless and dragging episodes.. it's starting to pick up again but then i bet it'll go back to that "nothing happens in these episodes" slump again..

grrrr.. that's kinda why i was glad GetBackers ended so abruptly.. if they dragged it out and lost its content, i may have stopped liking it =P

anyway, those are my thoughts for the night.. i started studying for finance.. which sucks big fat ass btw.. andddd.. hrm.. that's it, really..

you silly slick pie-rate.. of course akio misses u too.. i miss all of the yakuza but i didn't name all of them, did i =P go play with ur moose.

arighteez, i'm out of here. Adios, amigos.

Feenin' for some Tuesday, October 5, 2004, 09:12 p.m.

// more time to blog woot! //
sound: Ruled By Secrecy - Muse

not really.. i've just been slacking behind with my work X______X;; tho i can honestly say that i did a lot of work tonight and basically completed a project that's due thursday.. i can also bring it to the TF tomorrow to get it checked (since i'm pretty sure most of those things are completely wrong =P)

anyway, so let's blog! doot!

i miss my ghosto mucho.. hope you're havin a blast over there.. take pictures of sexy japanese men for me..

i miss my toki-chu toooo.. boo, it's been so long since we've gone to Chick-Fil-A together =( we better go when i come back (whenever that is)

jo-chan. where you been? *snugglz for leavin a msg*

so nothing really interesting has happened since the last time i blogged.. on friday, i went to govan's house and drank there for a while before heading off to this kid Arraf (sp?, no idea) house where he was havin a kegger.. surprisingly the beer wasn't the equivalent of 90% water and we spent most of the time outside smoking black n milds.. we went back to govan's and stopped at anita's place where we saw Joe sitting outside smokin with this other housemate Claire (anita was actually in atlanta).. anyway, i found out something a lil disturbing.. Claire, who is basically fat and unattractive, was Joe's ex.. yah, that really grossed me out.. knowing they hooked up and still live in the same house and all.. ew.. yah, that's kinda a big turn-off.. but needless-to-say i'd prolly still hook up with him again if i saw him later on LOL.. just cuz he's good at it =P anyway, so that was the disturbing fact of the week.. oh, wait there's other ones like matt (that weird kid from guam) hooks up with minors.. yah, that was odd too.. moving on! i slept over govan's..

then on saturday, i got home in time to learn that my team was conducting a focus group for research for our product.. after plans went terribly wrong, we found a few girls to take the women who couldn't come place.. so we held the focus group which we thought was really helpful.. and afterwards, when everyone had left, me, tsi, and matt (my two guy teammates) sat and talked about pretty much everything over a couple of cranberry/bacardi drinks.. tsi's such a light weight.. he drank like two glasses and he was done.. matt was hilarious tho.. he started singing this song about fucking gently.. and he's so insanely tone deaf X___X;; but it made me laugh so incredibly hard i couldn't breathe.. it was the funniest thing i had ever seen..

anyway, so that was cool, i ended up meeting with govan and angela to go to Coolidge Corner.. and we went to Gap to buy clothings.. I HAVE CLOTHES! WOOT! well, not half enough to last me the rest of the winter but i do have more than 3 shirts now, which is good, right/

thennnn.. hrm, oh we went to shaw's and made a whole lot of food and i ate it but i was feeling really sick after eating it.. i think my tummy was just really full cuz of the alcohol and basically the stuff that i just kept on eating.. i ended up throwing up like 90% of it X___X;;

so yah, that wasn't fun.. i crashed at govan's place cuz i thought i didn't have money for the cab.. but like an idiot, i remembered like an hour ago that angela had just given me money in exchange for buying her shirt so i actually could have gone home.. (tho that would kinda suck to have to spend more money than what i had already spent on a cab ride =P) anyway, so i slept over there and slept through the crazy blasting rap music from next door and the belligerent drunk girls that kept having a screaming contest..

woke up today around 8:15ish.. then headed out with angela who was on her way to work.. and caught a T back to my brownstone.. i ended up falling asleep and forgetting about my teammeating.. i ended up being over 20 minutes late.. but i got there and we worked on our survey.. and that ended up being very productive in the end after having to wait forever for the TA to look over our survey..

i left around 7:45ish and caught dinner at Towers.. i was really in the mood to eat some vegetables so i got some rice and beef and veggies.. i actually quite enjoyed it ^__^

mmm, i want a burrito from warren.. =P mebbe if i can actually wake up to go to the gym tomorrow..

*sigh* arighteez, i'll end this here.. adios, amigos.

Feenin' for some Monday, October 4, 2004, 12:43 a.m.

// more time = useless survey time //
sound:

jacked from toki:

Put all your mp3s on your playlist, shuffle em up, pick the first 20 songs and write your favorite line from them. No matter how lame the song is.

1. You used to captivate me with your resonating light now i'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
2. you're the simplest love i've known and the purest one i'll own
3. i've been thinkin, you say ur workin. well, hit me just as soon as your shift is over
4. don't want to meet yo daddy, just want you in my caddy
5. can you see you every morning when i open my eyes? can i just feel your heart beating beside me every night?
6. everybody screamin like they at a tyson fight
7. girl you taste like a cinnabon, so sweet from the thighs to the feet, sex on the beach
random comment: it just so happens that while doing this survey, the most ghetto and nasty songs are playing on my winamp

8. beautiful you are but you're his by far.. comin by the way driving his fancy car
9. sing for absolution I will be singing falling from your grace
10. talk is talk, talk is cheap, tell it her, don't say it to me
11. before you can read me you got to learn how to see me, free your mind and the rest will follow, be color blind don't be so shallow
12. booty booty booty booty rockin everywhere
13. if i never knew you i'd be safe but half as real
14. showin off ur ass cuz you thinkin it's a trend girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
15. i may have wisdom, knowledge or mirth, but without love, oo what is it worth?
16. they can see the tears in our eyes, but we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
17. tale as old as time, tune as old as song; bittersweet and strange finding you can change, learn you were wrong
18. he taught me how to wash to fight and pray and live rejoicing every day
19. Oh yeah, spend our life in sin and misery In the house of the rising sun
20. and that's good, isn't it grand? isn't it great? isn't it swell? isn't it fun? isnt it? but nothing stays..

yah, definitely the most spaztic crappy songs came up while filling out this survey X___X;; i also didn't put any foreign music on my player cuz i'd have an even harder time finding a favorite line =P

nada to blog about.. just went to class and back.

Feenin' for some Wednesday, September 29, 2004, 05:11 p.m.

// it's odd what u notice.. //
sound: One Song Glory - Rent Sdtrck

when u finally stop and listen to what's going on..

i've concluded.. that all men from guam are pathological liars. (well mebbe not all of them, but atleast the ones i kno are)

govan, i kno if ur reading this, u might get mad or offended.. but it's my real and honest opinion and it may be completely false.. but as of right now.. i'm kind of thinkin it may be true.

so there are a total of 2 people i've met from guam.. one is phil, govan's bf.. he's not actually guamanian but he's cuban but lived in guam for 17 years.. then there's my teammate matt who is actually from guam..

so.. let's let her rip..

i'm convinced they're both pathological liars. I mean, they're both really sweet, nice, and basically awesome guys. I know govan is happy with phil and i don't look down on him in any way, he's really funny and outgoing and whatever but at times, some of the things he says are so farfetched and so "well timed" that i just have a hard time believing them.. like for instance, me and govan talked about certain situations that we found interesting.. first the idea of school girl uniforms came up and suddenly he had this great story to tell us (also kinda disturbing).. and THEN something about coaches and he just happened to have been a coach on a girl's sports team.. and i noticed during the rest of the night, it just kept on going.. we'd bring something up and then a second later, he'd have this great crazy irrational story to tell us.. and i started to have this small tinge of fear in the back of my head that's telling me that he's just making some of this stuff up.. just so he could tell another story and amuse / shock us..

today, after hanging out with matt after class and even working out with him, i started to get the same feeling around him..

the thing i noticed most though was that he loves talking about himself.. he won't ask you a single question about yourself but he'll lead you on to ask questions about him.. and once you ask, he'll go on forreeeveerrr..

i found it really amusing actually to observe his personality unfolding in front of me.. and i noticed that when he talked to pretty much everyone, he always talked about Core and how it was his life and that he spends forever with his team and whatever..

i wish i could record it cuz to every single person it's the same exact story.. "heeyyy what's up? me? oh, i'm doing Core right now.. man, it sucks"..

it's like a voice recording, it just comes out every time someone new comes along.. and some of the things he's done or knows how to do just seem so far-fetched.. and once again, it just seems so appropriately placed into our conversations..

"you do this? so do i!" "you want to go here? me too!".. it just feels like.. he changes according to every single thing you say.. and when he talks about himself, i get this strange feeling that he's said it so many other times before that he doesn't even think about it..

i really don't kno what to make of him.. i mean, phil, i'm convinced that most of the stuff he says is true.. mainly cuz he's old enough to have experienced all of that..

with matt, it's a different story.. he's actually a month younger than me..

mebbe i'm just being paranoid or whatever.. but there's just this feeling that i get when i'm around them..

.... whatever, it doesn't make them bad people.. i mean, even tho one thing i really hate is liars, i understand some people don't even realize what they say.. some people are so convinced that they can't hold their own support by being themselves that they stretch and mold to what everyone else wants..

i'm not sure if that's true for the both of them.. they could be 100% telling the truth..

i'd never confront them about it tho.. that's a little too much for me.. i'm just really curious if that is the case..

i guess i'll never know..

Feenin' for some Tuesday, September 28, 2004, 09:08 p.m.

// boy crazy //
sound: nurfin

hormones are flying everywhere, people.. watch out, u might get smacked with an Akio-luv arrow.

SO! let's talk about sex, baby. (tho there really isn't any sex to be talking about)..

so! instead we shall talk about just how many guys are poking around in my head these days..

so lets start with the least:

two former interests from last year:
Jason: this kid was really sweet.. he's friends with my FSA buddy Greg aka GB.. we met at some party and started talking for a little while.. but it wasn't like a big deal. we stopped talking after a while.. i saw him yesterday at a party tho.. and he's still funny hehe.. tho there really isn't much more than being reacquainted involved there..

Dude that won't be named: i fear who reads my blog actually.. anyway, so he was a major hottie.. still is basically.. yum. he's got a girl now tho (that's basically the deal with him.. not so much interested as in fawning over)

three left.

i'm actually interested in a couple of my teammates which is needless to say, kinda weird since i should be sick of them already..

Eric: well he's not an adonis.. he's just your average chinese guy.. tall, skinny-ish but has a good build to him.. he's smart and sarcastic.. but the great thing about him is that he does extreme sports.. or atleast did them at some point.. scars and bruises and everything to prove it.. kinda sexy, i'll tell ya

Matt: this kid's from guam.. the basic thing about him is that he's cute (he's got a cute smile), he dresses well, and he's tall and got a great build.. he's got the kind of body i'd want on a guy.. drawbacks are that he's kinda.. not innocent but not manly enough for my tastes.. he's all about being respectful around women.. not saying things that aren't appropriate and whatever.. i don't like guys who need to act all prissy around me.. if u wanna jump some girl's bones, just friggin say it.. it's not the worst i've heard LOL

so those two are my teammates.. nothing will come of it tho.. they are, afterall, my teammates.. which means i'll prolly end up hating them by the end of the semester..

last! but definitely not least!

joe: (haha so white).. how i got involved with this kid had to have been one of the most random things ever.. i also blogged about him in a previous blog as that kid that "i randomly hooked up with".. well guess what? it didn't end there..

so i met joe at my girl anita's party.. we had been drinkin all night at govan's place and finally decided to head over to anita's which was right down the street since she was having a kegger.. so as me and govan walk up the stairs and i see my friend eric who was about to go inside, one of the kids that live in the house (joe) stops me n tells me i need to pay to get a cup.. or something to that context.. i told him i wouldn't be drinking anyway (since i was already buzzed) but that i'd pay 5 bucks anyway just because i knew that they were trying to make money off the night.. i then proceeded to make fun of his college (communications) by call it the College of Optional Math (the acronym is COM)..

for some reason, this caught his attention.. instead of me being that belligerent drunk girl that annoyed him by being all on his face, i was now a prospect for the night.. so i go inside and talk to my friend Eric and meet a couple of his friends who i felt bad for since they were sober and basically everyone else wasn't..

and i walked around a bit.. trying to find govan, frank and this cute kid andy (who has a girl, boo) who were also at anita's place.. then i run into that kid joe.. and i asked to use his bathroom since i really needed to y'kno.. use one. so he was like "yah sure" just being nice to me and all.. i had overheard him talking to some girl who also needed to use the bathroom.. and the ones on the first and second floor were occupied.. so she was like "what am i gonna do? pee in some corner".. and he was basically just saying to wait till one of them opened up..

so i got "special priveleges" by being able to use his bathroom.. (which was surprisingly clean).. anyway, so right next to the bathroom is his room.. so i look in and he's talking to some people.. i remember meeting some people and then we started talking about his rubix cubes.. apparently he's like amazing at them.. so he gave us a small demo and lo and behold.. he finished a completely scrambled one before our eyes.. of course all of us were impressed.. (so it's either he's really smart.. or he just has way too much time on his hands LOL)..

so i go back downstairs.. and i found out that the cops were coming to the house and basically everyone had to stay inside.. i saw my old teammate marina and then govan and frank finally showed up but then disappeared again..

so i got up and walked around looking for them yet again but we all had to be very quiet since the cops may come.. and i ducked into some room.. and guess what? joe was there! TADAH! so he's like "heyyy!" and he puts his arm around me.. and i go "y'kno.. i paid 5 bucks but i didn't have any beer" (which completely went against the whole wanting to contribute to their case thing).. so he's like "i have some beer upstairs.. you wanna go grab some?" (LOL, dun dun dunnn.. turning point, obviously)..

so! we both head upstairs.. and now his room is empty.. LOL. well, let's not go into details but i got a lil (just a little) more than just beer by going upstairs.. so in the middle of it all.. govan calls me cuz she's outside the house and there were now cops outside..

so i told joe that i basically had to go cuz govan was waiting for me.. (in reality i was thinking "definitely just hooked up with this guy and he prolly wants more but this is also my friend's housemate so mebbe that's not such a good idea") so i told him i had to go.. and i pointed to one of his unfinished rubix cubes and said "hey, make sure u finish that".. basically hinting that he might get a lil more if he did.. he said he'd finish it in the next hour LOL

anyway, so i left and whatever.. i felt kinda awkward about it at first.. kinda thinking "what am i gonna do when i go over there again?" bla bla bla.. but toward the end of the week, i was talking to govan and she tells me that she was talking to him.. and he was like "nah, i don't want things to be awkward.. i don't not want her to just come over and hang out or to say hi to me.." so that pretty much made the whole awkward feeling go away..

so! this friday, i went over govan's place to drink a bit.. she had invited a couple of people over and we decided to just sit around and get wasted LOL.. as i arrive all late, govan runs down the stairs in this lil white dress that looks hot but knowin the sketchy-ass men out there, she'd be like a lamb to the slaughter.. so! she runs out and i go upstairs.. drank a few beers with frank and angera (angela but in foblish).. and she tells me that Anita's bringing some friends over.. of course i feel this pang in my stomach thinkin joe would be there.. but soon enough, we head out to anita's cuz govan had been gone too long (and considering her drunken and sexy state, we were worried about her).. so we left and went to Anita's and lo and behold, as me and govan are about to enter the house, i see who sitting on the couch drinking some Pabst (prolly one of the worst beers ever) with anita? that's right. Joe.

i don't kno if it was on purpose that "Anita's friends" turned into pretty much "only Joe" but it was the case that night.. so after i was hesitant to go in (and made up some excuse like i needed to finish my cigarette, which i did) i went in and pretty much we all sat around and talked for a while.. then we all headed back to govan's place and drank and played cards.. i think about 5 shots later, i was pretty out there.. me and govan went to have a stoge outside.. and in the process, a cop car like flared (is that the right word? whatever) his siren thingie so we ducked down behind a wall thing and we went back inside cuz i feared for govan's 19-year-old ass.. as well as mine

so we go in.. and i end up talking to some random people that new govan.. and then i see Ben-SAN!.. Ben-san is a potential piece of manflesh that angela (govan's roomie) should tap.. and as i was talkin to ppl, he goes "Enciso!" and i was like "Ben-san!" yayyy for ben-san! ^__^

anyway, so i go back upstairs and everyone was playing asshole.. but i just took pictures of people with my phone for a while.. (which were uber amusing).. anita's boyfriend came too

and so! govan goes downstairs to get some rum from the kids on the first floor (andy's place).. and after she takes a lil too long, me and frank go downstairs as well.. so i grab the rum from andy's place and go back outside to bring it upstairs.. then i see joe standing outside the door.. he was locked out LOL

so i let him in.. and we start talking for a while in the hallway.. of course i'm standing there with a big bottle of rum in my hand like a dumbass.. and then govan comes out of andy's place and they go back upstairs but i give them the bottle of rum to bring (not before taking a big swig of course)..

and of course me and joe being alone...... yah. so that went on for like a really long time LOL (govan told me the next day that i was downstairs for a long-ass time).. which was kinda funny cuz random people would come down the stairs or go outside so we'd stop and.. then we'd look at each other and just start again LOL..

but.. yah.. so.. it didn't just end up being a one-night thing.. and i've concluded that he's a really great kisser and he's just so into it.. that i'd like to continue what's going on LOL..

AND! the best part is! is that even tho i don't kno pretty much anything about him (i don't even kno his last name).. i'm perfectly fine with that.. and that he's not all pushy like IMing me or asking Anita to talk to me.. which is great cuz that means, hey! if he's there and i'm there.. we'll prolly just fool around a little.. if i'm not, then we don't... which i think is not too bad a concept ^^

sorrie, i definitely blabbed about this way too long but it prolly is the most interesting event of this year so far..

anyway, so after he left, i fell asleep on govan's couch and the next day i went home and then went to a team meeting with matt and helah.. that was productive..

then saturday night, i went to a kegger (yet another) at mainechelle's place with GB, lainie, and jason.. i feared that we wouldn't know anyone there.. but it actually turned out that like half of FSA was there.. so i caught up with some people and that was cool.. we took a tequila shot (i wasn't too into drinkin that night).. and then drank some terrible terrible beer from the keg..

some freshmen started making out and i took pics with a bunch of ppl with my camera.. the night ended up with a bunch of sick freshmen passed out and me lainie and gb dropped by sicilia's for some pizza..

that was pretty cool.. it was nice seeing everyone again.. hopefully i'll get to party with them again soon.. and i also want to party with my team.. they seem like they'd be a lot of fun ^___^

anyway, i think i'ma end this here.. it's late and i did no work X___X;;

so drop by in like another week or so i might have something else interesting to say ^__^ toodlz.

Feenin' for some Monday, September 27, 2004, 12:35 a.m.

// a sudden realization. //
sound: Brena - APC

edit @ 10:56PM --

just watched Naruto Ep 101 which had to be the cutest and one of the funniest ones i've seen.. minus the whole copy-n-paste technique they used for the whole episode, the issue of what Kakashi actually looks like under his mask was just funny..

luckily, my doujinshin has a slight preview.. however inaccurate it may be.. so cute, i heart that episode..

end edit --.

i haven't slept in my own bed on a friday or saturday once since i got back to boston.. atleast i don't think i have..

not that i've been sleeping around.. more like govan's couch has become my second bed.. and yesterday i slept over at the Holiday Inn randomly cuz i went to this girl's b-day party there..

let's just say that the weekends have been thoroughly entertaining and full of drunken times..

random comment: i've become attached to APC's Judith despite it very flagrantly bashing the Catholic faith.. not that i agree with the views in the song (i don't really believe in the Catholic faith but i also don't condemn it).. there's something about the music and the way Keenan sings it.. it just makes ya wanna agree with him lol

anyway, sorrie, that was random..

it's been two weeks since school started.. actually, it will be two weeks this tuesday.. so.. let me ask you all.. why does it feel like i've been in school for a good month and change?

i'm thinkin it's because i've done so much shit in the past two weeks.. this weekend was actually the first time that i could just sit back and have time to have nothing to do.. which simply amazes me..

particularly for school.. CORE isn't as bad as everyone says it is.. yes, there is a lot of reading.. yes, we do spend a good 8-9 hours with our teams everyday (including our classes where we have assigned seating with our team).. yes, a lot of things are due and we have atleast 2 presentations a week.. (okay so i guess that is kinda bad).. BUT! it doesn't seem all that bad to me.. i mean, i like my team.. no one on my team is ugly (i actually have a pretty good-looking team) which is great cuz i could not stand staring at ugly-ass people for that long everyday.. we have fun and get the work done too.. i'm thankful for that too.. i've seen many a teams that just sit quietly together and do the work.. jeez, if that were the case with my team then i'd prolly wanna kill myself by the end of the semester..

anyway, so that's that.. i've been making good use of my weekends.. unwinding is the key to remaining sane.. so that's exactly what i've been doing.. drinkin, chilling, talking to random drunk people..

i have a tendency to hook up with random guys i barely kno (hook up as in kiss).. yah that happened again last night.. then when i saw Anita this morning walking to a team meeting (she's in CORE too).. she goes "did you make out with Joe last night?" and i look at her and say "yup."

LOL oh god that is super.. eh whatever.. i have no qualms about it.. yet i think it'd be kinda better if i hooked up guys that i actually like.. yah, that might be a good idea.

oh, and i did what everyone calls "the walk of shame".. basically, where you go out and night, have sex with someone and in the morning walk home in the same clothes that u were wearing the day before.. well, i did that minus the sex.. i've walked home the next day from sleeping over in the clothes i wore the day before i think almost 4 times now.. and this time it actually felt like a "walk of shame".. for some reason, it felt like everyone was looking at me like i had a big mark of cain on my forehead.. i don't kno why..

yay this blog is actually somewhat long! woot!

oh yah, so i saw all the old FSA heads.. that was cool.. everyone's still really chill and cool to hang out with.. i had to take care of gb and lainie on friday cuz they had drank just a lil too much at that b-day party.. then on the way home it rained like a sick mofo.. n we ducked into a creperie and i got to experience my first crepe.. tell ya, it was damn good but my stomach didn't like it too much afterwards X____X;; that could also be because i haven't eaten more than half a sandwich per meal for like a week.. the large amount of food was too much for my tumtum to handle =P

i really need to go clubbing tho.. i haven't done that in a good while and it's just such a good way to release any tension you have.. mebbe next weekend if i can convince people to go..

random comment #2: i'm still not sick of Time Is Running Out.. i heart that song mucho..

i really need to clean my room.. then i'll prolly do some powerpoint work and then try to get most of the reading for this week done.. mebbe i'll do laundry if i can find a change machine.. =P

hrm.. arighteez so that's that.. i must go shower and call eric about dinner..

*super hugglz to all who left me a comment*

adieu.

Feenin' for some Sunday, September 19, 2004, 03:53 p.m.

// quick blog! //
sound:

i have to keep studying X____X;;

for all those out there with a tagboard (from www.tag-board.com).. i have just realized those mini spawns of satan are what causes half of my pop-up ads.. i suggest not using them..

i'm super busy right now.. so much reading to do X___X;; presentation tomorrow and wednesday, contract due thursday.. presentation friday..

but on the other hand, i had some fun this weekend so that was cool.. can't wait till next weekend so i can actually sleep again..

tai, where's my drawing grrr..

adios all. text me if you lurv me. (IM me for the number cuz who knows who reads this blog)

Feenin' for some Sunday, September 12, 2004, 10:27 p.m.

// blog, damnit! //
sound: Starshine - Gorillaz

ugh, i am determined to blog.. i swear, every time i open this window and start blogging, i end up doing something else and i close the window never to press "done!"

I SHALL CONQUER THIS ... thing.

iunno.

anyway, i'm here in boston if you haven't already guessed that.. i'm uber busy all the time cuz i have a very demanding curriculum this semester..

i already have a presentation on friday and another one monday.. also have to come up with 5 product ideas for friday.. and then another 5 on monday..

luckily my team seems pretty cool.. i have a feeling we may have some rough edges later but it doesn't seem terrible right now..

i have so many things i need to buy still and my books cost me 550 X_______X;; such is life.

anyway, i'm gonna end this here because i'm too lazy to blog anymore and if i don't end it, i'll just end up closing this window and not blogging once again.

toodlz

Feenin' for some Wednesday, September 8, 2004, 05:17 p.m.

// fuck fuck fuck! //
sound:

i hate satellite cable.. my X-Files episode, just as the mystery is about to be uncovered, is now replaced by a big black screen and a caption that says "Searching for satellite signal. Please stand by." Fuckin useless, i swear.

anyway.. did anything interesting happen since i last blogged? prolly not..

sidebar: it just started raining hard as fuck which explains the lack of satellite signal.. I WANNA WATCH MY FUCKIN X-FILES.. DAMN YOU WEATHER!!

anyway, i woke up today around 12-ish when my dad calls me n says he need to take our van to the auto shop cuz suttin was wrong with it and he needed me to drive him back.. that's just plain annoying that you have to go out just because someone needs a ride back from somewhere..

evile spawn of satan van.. this is more proof of its affiliation with the devil..

anyway, so after doing that, i watched tv for forever.. it's nice vegging.. i like doing nothing a whole lot.. i ate food and then eventually had to go back with my dad to pick up the van.. (another annoying chore).. so govan calls me n asks if i want to go to Red Lobster with her and Tony.. so i get dressed n head out to govan's house n we go to Red Lobster together.. it was pretty good times there.. i didn't really eat much seafood since i wasn't that hungry but i ordered the fondue.. (basically a big bowl made of bread filled with cheese n seafood).. it was good tymz.. tony ordered a lobster (which looked pretty good actually.. i've been dying for some lobster but i didn't have the heart to shell out the cash.. =P

this is why everyone goes to Red Lobster with their parents.. or a very rich friend..

anyway, so afterwards, we headed home.. govan's leavin for scoo tomorrow.. after i get back there, we're gonna party hearty until school starts.. she's already got some liquor lined up.. if anything, we can always get phil to buy us more.. i'm really up for some serious SoCo runs..

i got back here and hung with the parents a little.. i started packin a bit.. there doesn't seem to be that much stuff and i actually think i'm gonna not pack the things i never wear (which i usually pack them anyway cuz i convince myself i will wear them and i never do).. so! hopefully i'll pack a whole lot lighter n my parents n brother don't have to do too much work stockin up my room..

i'm excited about school but not about classes.. this semester will be the hardest one out of all of them.. i'm not looking forward to the stress n all..

i'll prolly end up being a full-time smoker by the end of this semester.. (crappy especially since cigarettes are so damned expensive there..)

i also fear my freshman roommate.. it may be bad news all over if she's all "omg! like tell me all about school!"

ugghhhhhh.. oh well, i'll take my chances.. as long as she's not some psycho cleptomaniac..

anyway, tomorrow's gonna be a crappy day.. i have Barbizon (which now i'm convinced was a royal waste of my time despite that i did learn some things but it wasn't worth the hours i put into it..).. n also, i'm getting most of my fillings done tomorrow which = novacaine, pain, drills, n not eating for a good three hours afterwards..

i hate teeth..

btw, toki and tai: you two aren't obvious at all.. =P gee, you musta played monopoly for 5 hours..

and toki-chu.. i told u i was busy on tuesday n packin on wednesday last week (in hopes that u'd get the hint that we could only chill on any other day besides tuesday n wednesday).. u responded with suttin like "oh, well that's okay".. since u didn't make any hints that you wanted to chill, i assumed u didn't care about not seeing me before i left.. but have fun for the next few months.. hopefully u can catch me online once n a while.. i'll be mad busy this semester..

sidebar: X-Files is back online and all good

so anyway, that's that.. i think i'm prolly gonna end up seeing Dean n his boys on Wednesday night.. depending on whether or not my packing is on it's way.. he called me a month ago n said he'd be in town for the 1st.. it'll be great to see that kid.. i haven't seen him in months before he left for the army which could total almost a year and a half or so.. since he's in the army, he's even more cut than he was before.. that's gonna be scary.. he's such a tiny lil kid but i bet his guns are like huge now.. i can't wait to see.. must take pictures =D.. i may invite yusuke since it'll be his 21st birthday.. n diane n ray if they're not doing anything.. i know diane'll want to see Dean too..

sidebar again: FUCKIN EVIL SPAZTIC SATELLITE SIGNALL!!! X-files is ruined for this night.. n i don't have a tv for long >___<;;

*sighhhh* so much packing to do.. i can't wait for this semester to be over n it hasn't even started yet.. second sem, i'll be 21.. n when they visit, i'm taking yusuke n ghost to Pravda, one of the most exclusive clubs in Boston, where the bar is made of ice.. oh, the money that will be spent that weekend.. pwuahahaha..

anyway, i'm gonna end this here... as a last note: don't get a dish for ur television.. they fuckin suck.

buh-bye now!

Feenin' for some Thursday, September 30, 2004, 02:12 a.m.

// i'm left godless.. //
sound:

that's right.. my glorious electronic god brought to me by none other than that manufacturer in the sky us mortals refer to as "Dell".. my laptop, Apollo is not with me at this moment..

in fact, i'll be godless for a good three days until my brother brings it back right before i leave for Boston

and the reason for this deprivation? my brother's lending me a hand in clearing up my harddrive by burning all of the HxH episodes i have..

i didn't have the heart to erase them all after i had saved all of them so faithfully.. also, HxH was such an awesome series and i knew that if i didn't save it and burn it, i would some time down the line dl it again therefore once again have taken up a good 13 and a half gigs on my harddrive for it.. the difference is that since my bro is burning them, i don't have to waste my time redownloading the 80+ episodes..

and he's also burning them onto DVDs which means a lot less CDs to carry around.. they can carry up to 4 gigs on them.. which equals up to about 5 CDs total for the entire thing.. that's also with the Naruto episodes i wanted him to burn.. (my favorite Naruto arch with Haku n Zabuza..)

anyway, so that's that.. hopefully i'll get Apollo back soon..

moving on! (movin on up!) hrm, so let's blog about what has occured in the past couple of days...

friday! nothing really interesting happened on friday, really.. i woke up and cleaned the bathroom and our guest room for my mom.. then i got dressed n headed to the mall to buy my brother's b-day present..

so i hit up the T-mobile stand n buy him a hands-free device that was all of 15 bucks.. (that was the cheapest gift i've bought in a while).. and afterwards, went to buy BR 8 and FAKE 4.. both of which were awesome.. sadly, Mimura's no longer in BR.. which takes the fun out of mostly everything =P

the overwhelming amount of jailbait at the mall just makes me want to stab my eyes out.. iunno about u guys, but if i ever had a daughter, i would NOT let her wear those things in public..

so i grabbed a slice of pizza after buying some cards for my brother's party and headed home.. at home, i spent the rest of the night reading manga and cleaning my room... i didn't get to bed until around 7AM.. i woke up the next day around 10:30ish.. got dressed and waited for yusuke to get here so we could head over to my brother's place for his engagement / housewarming / birthday party.. after he got here, i drove us over there.. everyone was thoroughly impressed by my brother's house.. it has a lot of really cool high-tech things in it since my brother likes buying things that are "state-of-the-art" (in other words, new technology that came out but will be about half the price in half a year or so).. anyway, so we watched some Olympics and ate a lot of food.. i hung out with my family.. after my parents left for the house, we started drinkin some coronas in the basement and just hangin out.. it was pretty chill.. watchin olympics and making fun of the US men's basketball team..

i'm sorry but i just had to laugh at how they brought the wrong fuckin uniforms.. not only did the US have to publicly display "Reason's for US not getting the gold", they have increased our plain of idiocy by delaying the game against Lithuania by a good half-hour to hour.. do you know the millions of dollars that they cost the Olympic foundations just because they brought the wrong fuckin uniforms? oh, the whole "reason for not getting the gold" made me laugh even harder.. one of the reasons was "Higher importance of NBA title than gold metal".. number one, that's just fuckin idiotic.. yah, it's great to win the playoffs n all but the olympics is a worldwide recognition of a team's greatness.. even if a US team wins the playoffs n proves to be the best team in the states, their shitty performance in the Olympics has just proven that all that hard work n ego-boosting will go down the drain the second they get on the court with the best team from another country..

AND.. if that's such a viable excuse, then why did the women's team win gold?? not like they don't work their ass of to be acknowledged in the WNBA (and tho they do work their asses off, they don't get the same recognition from our own country)..

the US is just making up lame-ass excuses for not getting gold metals.. i know the reason.. they're not as good as other countries.. simple, ne?

sorrie, my bitterness toward the reputation and worldview of this country escalates every day, the primary reason being that most of the stereoptypes given to ppl from here are actually accurate..

ANYWAY, so after we watched some olympics, i drove back to my house and we had a mass for my mom's father's death.. he died some time at the beginning of the summer.. i didn't know him well since he lived in the Philippines.. tho the only thing that really pained me was seeing how upset my mom was.. anyway, so that mass took forever.. it took place in our basement which was hot as fuck.. they went through the mass and sang long songs.. it just took forever.. not to mention my uncle, the priest for this mass, was pretty much drunk off his ass from drinking beer at my brother's house.. he spent the entire sermon lecturing about how death = pain.. that is really fuckin comforting.. my mom was crying the whole time.. i just wanted to punch his lights out, spit on him, n call him a hypocrite in front of everyone..

i hate acting nice to him.. he judges everyone yet he's selfish, a drunkard, a glutton, and seeks attention all the time..

he disgraces the religion and our family..

anyway.. so after the mass, we ate even more food and hung out in our living room.. we eventually headed back to my brother's place to sleep over n do some more drinking.. we got there and put Shrek 2 on.. so our drinking game was simple.. every time the movie said "ogre" or "Shrek", we had to drink.. at first, it was slow.. but as the movie progressed, we were downing beer after beer after beer.. there musta been a good 30 bottles or so on the table by the end of the movie.. afterwards, we tried to watch Spiderman 2.. but we got really bored.. so we started singin some karaoke..

after a bunch of songs, we all decided to crash.. i slept in their office n everyone else was spread out across the house.. we woke up the next morning to donuts and coffee then eggs, bacon n rice.. we played a few rounds of Pusoy Dos before heading out around 3:45 or so.. we all drove back to my house before my cousins went off to wegmans with my brother and janne and then yusuke went home..

i did nothing except watch TV and eat for the rest of the day until i dropped by my bro's place again to drop off Apollo.. i also brought back some chocolate cake, hamburger, n some hotdogs for my own disposal =P

food is nice.. i'll miss it when i'm broke at school..

i'm leaving in three days so if any of you want to chill, we better make plans now cuz i'll be packin all wednesday and my tuesdays all filled up.. that leaves tomorrow..

anyway, i'm gonna end this here.. i'm tired as hell... i barely got sleep on friday night and saturday, i didn't get to sleep in as long as i wanted to..

oyasuminasai.

Feenin' for some Monday, August 30, 2004, 02:20 a.m.

// ah i forgot.. //
sound: Dead Star - Muse

since my phone is no longer old, dinky, falling apart, and only works if you either tape it together or hold it together with ur thumb and index finger, i have decided on a name.. my new nifty picture-taking, text-messaging, color-screen, voice-identifying phone shall be named the simplest of names:

Nexus.

definition: the means of connection between things linked in series; a connected series or group

it makes sense, doesn't it?

so.. for those that don't kno.. i name everything. Well, not everything.. but mostly electronic things cuz i just get so attached to them ^^;;

things i've named so far include:
My car: Tybalt
My digital camera: Celeborn
My laptop: Apollo
and now, my new addition to the named electronics owned by urs truly..
My cellphone: Nexus

this reminds me of Demon Diary when the former Raenef named his books obscenely long names..

yah, i'm too lazy to do that..

at any rate, woot for naming things!

let's talk about this day..
nothing particularly interesting happened.. i woke up quasi early and then i had a loooonng dream about something.. it was so long i thought it was real @__@;; but unfortunately i can't remember what was actually in the dream >___<;; anyway, so i got up and got dressed cuz i had to drive my car to some auto garage and get its picture taken for insurance purposes.. (yay Tybalt went to a mini photo shoot today *click*) anyway, so when i got there, i hung out while my mom filled out the forms and the sketchy men at the garage all ogled me.. yah, that was.. sketchy.. nuff said.

so after that, i came back home and eventually went to the gym.. nothing really interesting happened there either.. i saw kitkat for two seconds and there were mucho the hotties which was fun cuz yah, it's always nice to have grade-a manflesh surrounding you..

which reminds me of what the slick pie-rate was talkin to me about the other day.. he was saying how he saw two things that were good for me.. first, he said there was this great shirt that said "this is what PERFECT looks like".. that woulda been mad "akio" right there.. good tymz, ne? then he said when he was workin, he saw this diesel-ass asian boy in a white beater and he was all tough lookin.. he had big muscles and stuff.. and he was like "yah, i saw him and i thought 'akio food'" LOLOL i find that extremely amusing..

i find it really amusing that just about all of my girlfriend's boyfriends look at certain types of guys and think "akio / christine / enciso would want that" and it's usually a very buff, attractive asian man..

gee, i wonder why *covers up the ranting about hot men at her gym in 90% of her blog*

i am really shallow tho.. looks definitely come before personality.. and sad to say, i have high standards, and i'm damned picky.. a guy with baggage is a biiiggg no-no.. and i hate really sensitive guys.. ugghhhhhh, i especially hate guys who use the "i write poetry" line in order to snare ur attention.. i don't like guys who go on and on about "oh, i write these songs and this poetry to express my inner thoughts.. i'm so deep and understanding of what's around me.. look how sensitive i am.. i'll cry if you say an unkind word to me.. look how i understand and identify with ur feelings.. i'm not like every other guy.." ughhhhh for christ's sake.. drink a fuckin beer and watch some football.. i don't give a shit about how long you sit alone in ur room thinking up sensitive bullshit instead of going out with ur buds and doing things that normal guys do.. go watch some porno, go to a strip club, play video games while talkin about which Golden Girl you would fuck if you had to fuck one of them..

don't give me this "i'm a wilting flower, a petal lost to the wind, lost in ur heart".. WHATEVER.. no one gives a shit.. keep it to urself and call me back when u have something interesting to tell me.. UGH! "i'm not like every other guy" well, guess what? maybe i want you to be that "every other guy".. i'm a woman for christ's sake.. i don't need a guy that's more bitchy, whiny, and prone to crying than i am.. i don't need ANOTHER pussy in my life..

i just want a guy that i can feel safe with.. a guy who's got more brawn then me.. a guy who can knock back more shots than i can.. a real beer drinker, an aggressive driver, a guy who won't let anyone hassle a girl n won't back down when his boys need some help.. i don't want some sensitive peacemaker.. i want a fuckin brute.. a MAN.. i wanna be taken care of.. not taking care of him..

anyway, yah that rant is over now.. what was i talking about? oh.. so i got home from the gym after workin my butt off..

then i ate some pasta and chicken.. cuz.. yah, that's fun.. i'll let u kno right now.. SHoprite has the best fried chicken ever (other than my mom's).. it's damned good..

then i watched Taking Lives with my parents.. it was okie.. i thought it was gonna be better but it was predictable as hell.. and i was of course stuck watching the obscenely blatant sex scene with my parents..

i heard from someone that during that scene, they had sex without Ethan Hawke taking his pants off.. and alas! it was true.. he didn't even make any motions to unzip or pull it out.. they just started fuckin..

which was some serious fuckin if you ask me.. Angelina Jolie was makin all kinds of sounds.. it wasn't bad tho.. it woulda been much better if Ethan Hawke had actually made some kind of motion that his dick was out of his pants during this whole thing..

anyway, so that was okie.. i wanted more Keifer Sutherland action cuz he's really one of my all-time favorite villian actors.. him and Christopher Walken.. they have topped my list as the best actors to play villians EVER..

anyway, so that was that.. then i watched 50 First Dates.. it was really sweet.. of course, there's terrible slapstick comedy in it but it was still funny at some points.. and it was really sad at some points.. i actually got teary-eyed..

it was good tho hehe.. i tried watching some other stuff but yah, there was nothing good on so here i am blogging some more..

i haven't been keeping up with Naruto.. X___X;; my anime dling has gone down a lot since my connection sucks on wireless and i hafta actually plug in a ethernet cord to dl things fast.. and that's down in the office and i like blogging in my room and the family room.. so basically, no anime dls for a while..

i have to catch up on Naruto, HxH, and i want to watch Full Metal Alchemist.. and read the manga as well.. i also want to re-download the PMK scanlations i found..

there's a lot of music i wanna dl too.. boo for not having my t3 connection.. in a week, i shall! woot!

anyway, i'm gonna end this here.. i'm actually sleepy at 3:45 which is a miracle in my book.. toodlz-a-lot.

Feenin' for some Friday, August 27, 2004, 01:59 a.m.

// wishful thinking.. //
sound: Orestes - A Perfect Circle

yah, so i went to the dentist today in the scary locale we all like to call Howell.. now, i don't doubt the fact that my town is right on the brinks of the dreaded Southern Jersey.. Southern Jersey prolly has more mystery in it then deep-sea life.. and the funny part is that no one cares enough to spend even 20 bucks on tolls to explore it.. hehe

anyway, so after driving past like 50 "adult cinema" and auto shops, my mom and i arrive.. i found out i may need to get a root canal X___X;;

fuckin evil teeth.. i wish to god i could just get em all yanked out and replaced with some anti-cavity teeth.. (i don't mean removable false teeth.. i really mean just like pieces of some kind of ceramic/plastic/enamel that serves the same exact purpose as real teeth.._)

i kno i wouldn't be able to eat for prolly weeks and the surgery would be extremely detrimental to the structure of my mouth BUT! i wouldn't mind, really.. i hate my teeth.. they're evil beyond reason..

i also found out i really need to get my wisdom teeth out too.. blah

anyway, so that was all kinds of bad news.. i went home and watched some Olympics while eating BK with my mom and my cousin.. then i slept for a while.. god, i felt so good.. i heart sleep a lot..

then afterwards, i got dressed and went to Friendly's with Jones.. we ate some damned good food and right as we were finishing up dessert, this little white kid starts dancing around our table and humming.. of course me and Jones are like "ummm, okie" of course, i'm just playing around sayin stuff like "do you take requests?" then it just gets funnier.. the kid puts his hands on his head and starts moving his hips around.. of course Jones cracks up and i can't help but laugh.. then he starts singing "Lean Back" and starts doing the dance! of course me and Jones are now dying of laughter.. here's this little kid and he's shaking his butt and doing the "Lean Back" dance.. then he friggin busts out THE SPRINKLER!! omggg.. it was SO funny.. me and Jones were laughing SO hard..

and he just keeps on going.. and me and Jones are like in a coma on the floor from laughing so hard.. and of course, everyone else in the restaurant sees us laughing like idiots.. but this kid was SO funny.. it was so great..

anyway, so we paid the bill and left.. oh god, that kid was awesome.. it was SO great.. oh god, i still laugh at it now..

anyway, then we drove to Regal Cinemas and watched Collateral which i thought was awesome.. i recommend it to anyone.. Tom Cruise plays the ideal sociopath.. oh god, he was so bad-ass in this movie.. the funny part was that he massacres all these people but u still end up liking him at the end..

weeeee he's sexy! so i drove Jones home and here i am now.. i did some minor cleaning but i need to do some serious cleaning tomorrow..

woot! yah, i can see how you think he's a bit young.. god, he's so cute tho.. and his lips are so full n yummy lookin'.. sorrie, i'll stop ^^;;

anyway, i started looking up movies that i wanna buy:

- Moon Child - you can't deny that the GacktXHyde tendencies wouldn't make you wanna buy this damned DVD..
- Drive - I loved Mark Dacascos' abilities in this movie.. he put Jet Li and Jackie Chan to shame.. also, Masaya Kato's in it and is also bad-ass

- Blue Spring - But of course, Tsukamoto Takashi is in this but also Takaoko Sosuke (the guy who played Sugimura) is in it.. he's damned sexy in that movie from the screencaps i've seen.. and also, we can't forget the chaotic beauty of Gohatto, Matsuda Ryuhei.. he's the main character in this movie.. and they're all in school uniforms XD

- The Returner..
i was watching The Returner the other day.. at first, it seemed cheesy cuz it was about some girl from the future that goes back in time to stop an alien invasion.. so u see this ugly girl go back in time through a terribly CGed time portal.. i'm like "great, this movie's gonna be lame and corny".. i watch it a little more.. lo and behold, there was one major hottie, Kaneshiro Takeshi. he surprised me in the first 10 minutes of the movie by delivering an awesome action performance while taking on a gang of yakuza single-handedly.. cinematics reminded me a lot of The Matrix.. it was just damned Sexy.. he was also wearing an awesome long black leather jacket.. the action in the movie was just awesome, btw.. i was impressed thoroughly..

needless to say, i watched the Rest of the movie which really wasn't that bad.. it would have been a lot better had the girl been less annoying and prettier tho

hrm.. well, i think that's about it right now.. i'm totally not sleepy cuz i took a nap today =P but i think i'll watch some TV to kill time.. toodlz, everyone.

Feenin' for some Thursday, August 26, 2004, 01:31 a.m.

// bloopiez, ladies n gentz //
sound: Citizen Erased - Muse

yah, this entry is gonna be full of random things including the events of today so i couldn't think of an interesting title.. =P

first, i don't know if anyone noticed but i made slight alterations to my blog.. the "ryuunen.akio" graphic is gone.. it annoyed me for some reason =P and i extended the double white lines to the right so there's something in that space.. that's about it tho.. i think it looks better ^__^b

and now some short social blogging:

niiku-chan: that's ur nick for jo tho =P i dun wanna steal names from pplz.. besides since i've been the only one to.. y'kno.. do certain things to him, i should have a special pet name for jo XD

speaking of jo: i was talkin bout the chinese dude with the mute sister.. he speaks mandarin?? i figured he didn't since he spoke english the whole time even when they were filming =P oh wellz.. i guess that makes sense cuz he was saying how gackt was all interested in how he came from the states to learn mandarin.. i guess he spoke english cuz his mandarin wasn't too good? O.o;;

btw.. i'm not sure that u were there when we discussed in a yakuza chat who we would want to play us if 36Moons became a live-action movie.. but this is who toki suggested play you hehe.. he was Mimura Shinji from BR..

Tsukamoto Takashi

he's delicious ^^b

i heart him.. i wanna do all kinds of bad things to him X___X;;

he's also a singer but iunno if he's any good..

and according to toki, you're also this cute lil thing right here:

kawaaiiiii-naaa!! hehe

and since we're adding pics in randomly, if aya were a character in GetBackers, he would be Kazuki:

so pretty.. i heart him too cuz he's bad-ass as well as beautiful

toki would definitely be ban.. tai would be jubei since he's all tall and thick.. and aoki would be Paul since he's the oldest character X_____X;; *runs away*.. jun would be shido since he's a jerk..

wow, that works out pretty well LOL

i'll think of the rest later cuz i should really get to finishing this blog.. =P

-- edited @ 3:56am.

i forgot.. i must mention that i looked up info on Masaya Kato and have concluded that he can't play Akio in the live-action..

Masaya's hot, no doubt.. but he's 41-years-old and his looks are starting to catch up to his age.. Akio's bound to look 20-years-old for the rest of his life (for reasons that can be revealed in 36Moons.. so it doesn't seem appropriate for Masaya to play Akio..

he could play another yakuza tho.. mebbe one of the evil police directors, ne? Masaya makes an awesome antagonist..

now, after much consideration and much searching on a prospect to play Akio, i have concluded that i'd rather Tsukamoto Takashi play Akio than Jo.. cuz.. i want him to X___X;; i think Tsukamoto is damned hot.. and although the idea of Akio having him to do as he pleases is appealing, there's no one that Akio wants more than himself.. (which is appropriate since there is no one i want more than Tsukamoto other than Gackt.. but gackt's playing someone else, apparently *blah*).. anyway, must find cute boy to play Jo now..

who would Matsuda Ryuhei be good as? and Takaoka Sosuke? (yah, the entire BR cast is prolly gonna end up in our movie)

-- end edit.

here's a survey stolen from tai's blog!.. details of my day to follow..

1. MY FAVORITE BREAKFAST IS... pancakes / waffles with bacon / sausage.. or longanisa with egg and rice ^___^
2. THE MOVIE I'VE WATCHED MOST NUMBER OF TIMES IS... Finding Nemo.. most likely.. tho i watch movies SO many times it's ridiculous..
3. WHAT CARTOON CHARACTER BEST DESCRIBES YOUR PERSONALITY? well besides the akio himself? does manga count as cartoon?? O.o;; i'd say Mimura Shinji from BR.. for a lot of reasons..
4. I SPEND MY LEISURE TIME BY... sleeping, watching tv, and watching anime.. and thinking about a LOT of things
5. WORST SMELL? rotten eggs.. one of the girls in a quad last year left eggs in the fridge over vacation.. it was bad news all over.. and sweaty men at the gym..
6. IF I CAN HAVE ANY CAR IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Porsche Carrera GT.. in Basalt Black, GT Silver, or Seal Gray.... click here to see *DROOOOOOOOOLLLL*
7. FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? i like cleaning glass.. and mirrors.. anything that has a reflection (just kidding, that would be the reason why it would be akio's favorite chore) i just like using windex lol (and tussin! =D)
8. WHEN I WAS A KID I DREAMED OF BECOMING... a CIA agent.. i made the fake badges and everything..
9. FAVORITE COLOR? it used to be orange.. i think it's still pretty up there.. but greens are starting to grow on me..
10. FAVORITE PERFORMER(S)? L'arc (cuz i actually saw them teehee).. i also really loved Luna Sea's performances (the ones i've watched on tv, that is) and X-Japan's.. ^___^
11. WHEN I DIE, I'D RATHER BE CREMATED OR BURIED? "I wanna be catapulted into the ocean." <~~ you would, wouldn't ya, ya slick pie-rate.. i don't really care.. i'd be dead and it wouldn't matter.. tho the thought of not leaving this body behind kinda irks me
12. WORST MEMORY? oh jeez.. that would be probably be the entire year of 7th grade
13. THREE THINGS I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT? phone, keys, wallet, chapstick/lipgloss of some sort.. um, pants? iunno
14. WORST WAY TO DIE? being tortured for days upon end until u finally chew off ur own tongue and choking in it so you can die already.. or tripping and falling on a pencil. that's just a lame-ass way to die..
15. I'D LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED AS... someone that mattered.
16. IF YOU WERE CHASED BY A MAD DOG WHAT WOULD YOU DO? shoot it? if i didn't have gun, i'd run like hell and find one.. a gun, that is.
17. SPECIALTY IN COOKING/BAKING? i make some crazy-ass macaroni n cheese.. iunno, i only cook for myself and it's usually something stupid like pasta and butter.. so there's really no specialties going on here..
18. FIRST CRUSH? some kid named Wyatt at the YMCA (yah, how sad is that? lol)
19. FAVORITE HANG-OUT? nowhere in particular.. as long as the company is good
20. BEST PLACE TO SHOP? Express.. if i had the money, i'd buy the whole fuckin store
21. FIRST THING YOU DO IN THE MORNING? look up, squint at the clock with the gi-normous digits on it.. grunt and either go back to sleep or put on my glasses
22. FAVORITE PLACE IN YOUR HOUSE? my room most likely..
23. BEST GIFT YOU'VE GIVEN? that would be the flavored condoms, candy, and packets of motion lotion that heats up when u blow on it in a little gift bag that i gave to my friends some time in high school.. teehehehe
24. WEIRDEST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? i think that would be my HUGE gir pillow.. it's just a big neon green cube with eyes and a tongue.. and a lil piece of green for his body.. it's pretty damn scary lookin if you don't kno who he is haha
25. FAVORITE SUPER POWER? telekinesis.. it'd be cool to move things with my mind..

okay! so that's done.. *phew* surveys take a lot out of me..

let's blog about today.. i woke up around 12-ish and i don't remember what i did but i did something until i got a call that i had to pick up my X-rays from my dentist in Edison cuz i was going to one that was closer tomorrow.. thank god, i hate having to drive all the way out there just to go to the dentist which i REALLY hate..

anyway, so i showered and went there and back.. everyone was driving slow as fuck today.. i wanted to cry.. so i got back and loafed around a bit before heading to the gym while chatting with govan via text..

apparently kitkat is a moron.. (this is being told to us by a moron so it's totally hopeless) and to add, a lot of the trainers at my gym are strippers.. i told govan this would good since it would result in larger man-junk..(strippers can't be wavin around a half-eaten pocky stick, nahmean?)

anyway, so i got to the gym and went through my workout.. i've been damned tired lately.. my body's just not agreeing with me right now >____<;; hopefully it'll heal in a few days..

no real hotties today.. it makes the gym experience a lot less enjoyable =P

then after the gym (and skipping cardio cuz my tummy was dying of hunger), i went to Vanessa's house to say bye to her.. she's leaving for Fordham tomorrow..

we sat there for a looonggg time talkin bout high school and what's going on now, went to Dunkin Donuts and then we looked through old year books..

we stayed till around 1AM.. so that was cool

now here i am blogging.. i'm kinda tired.. and i hafta get up early-ish and go to the dentist which is really gonna suck >____<;;

*sigh* anyway, i'll end this here.. i'm getting sleepy.

gnite all.

Feenin' for some Wednesday, August 25, 2004, 01:36 a.m.

// yay for old songs! //
sound: If I Ruled The World - Nas ft. Lauren Hill

i think a lot has happened since i last blogged..

but! i shall social blog first..

Miya: yay you tagged me! woot! *pounces on you*.. i wish u had a blog.. so we can all kno what's goin on in our sekshi miyabi's life..

Toki: yesh, i got the links to those gackt pics which are yummy ^____^b tenxuu! *snugglz* btw, i'm leaving in a week and three days so we must chill before then..

Tai: i just realized that if i called you "Tai-kun" that it would sound like "tycoon".. O.o; ur contributions to the yakuza blog are highly amusing.. especially with the random flexing.. u big ball of muscular cheese

Jo: i still have yet to find a good nickname for you.. Jo is a lil too reminiscent of Little Women or some southern folk tale heroine.. i'd use some part of ur last name but then you n ur old man (no pun intended) might get confused.. =P

ghost: good luck in Japan sweetie.. update ur xanga as much as you can so we know how you're doing.. *hugglz* miss you already..

arighteez, so that's that.. let's do a recap of these past few days..

THURSDAY:
i did essentially nothing until govan IMed me and wanted to grab some Wendy's.. i was unfortunately just about to head to the gym.. so she decided she'd just come and we'd talk while i worked out.. so i get to the gym.. it's the usual.. there's a trainer at our gym.. a white guy, tall, blond, CUT LIKE A SICK MOFO.. anyway we dubbed him "kitkat" (due to govan's new slogan for him "break me off a piece of that cute white boy") or "ken doll" (since his name is Ken).. appropriate, ne? white, blond, n cut.. just like a ken doll but minus the non-existent plastic genitals (hopefully)..

anyway, so govan comes about an hour and change into my workout.. when i'm almost done, she starts talking to kitkat and lo and behold! he's got yellow teeth X____X;; and not only this! but when he took off his fleece to dorn his gloriously sexy black wifebeater, he pulls out a chain around his neck and on it was the BIGGEST BLINGBLINGin' CROSS I HAD EVER SEEN IN PERSON..

i mean, it wasn't Flava-Flave big but it was pretty damned large.. so the whole time he was talking to govan i was either staring at his discolored teeth or his fuckin huge cross..

yah, that was really odd.. no doubt, his body is bangin but those small imperfections just bother me X___X;; me and govan realized that we've got some damned high standards in men =P

so anyway, after that, we hit up Wendy's (which is like literally in the parking lot of our gym) and talked for a while mostly about kitkat and his "flaws".. but he was nice so it was allg..

so on to..

FRIDAY:
friday, i woke up around 11-ish and went to freehold mall to find a top to wear to ghost's dinner thingie.. and then drove to meet up with ghost and yusuke at Garden State Plaza where basically all three of us bought our outfits for the night.. we got back to yusuke's and changed before meeting up with ghost's two friends from PSU and driving to the restaurant.. then eric and his girl diana met us up there.. then we ate at a very expensive dinner.. the menu runs about 20-40 bucks a plate.. not including an appetizer or dessert.. so basically, we all shelled out a good 40 bucks each for dinner..

it was amazing tho.. i ordered a $19 plate.. it was the cheapest one on the menu.. ironically, i had the most food on my plate out of all the people at the table.. god, it was so good tho.. chicken is yummy..

anyway, so after that, we went to a cafe and sat and talked and took pics and ate ice cream sundaes.. afterwards, kristine's two PSU friends left.. and the rest of us went to yusuke's house (his parent's house, not his apartment) where we watched tv and diana found my making fun of EVERYONE really funny.. then everyone played Uno for a while and some Pusoy Dos..

and we watched that late night show where they air stupid japanese game shows and dub them over.. it was hilarious..

then i drove home all late and got stuck in about an hour of bumper-to-bumper traffic on the turnpike.. cuz WHY? BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO CLOSE THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE AT 2:30AM!! okay.. keep in mind that the NJturnpike was named the most traveled highway on the east coast.. not to mention, this is early morning saturday.. the time that people leave the bars and come home.. SO.. they close it at exit 13.. and they merge ALL the traffic onto the 278 exit.. and the entire turnpike's traffic (cars and trucks sides) was stuck on a two-lane highway with a traffic light every 300 feet..

i wanted to die.. it was terrible..

i got home almost around 4:30.. i slept the whole day on saturday..

SUNDAY:
i woke up some time in the afternoon.. i left for ghost's house around 7:30 or so.. i got there at around 8:45.. then we hung out in ghost's room and watched Olympics before ghost heated up some Mexican food she had for me.. and we started playing Texas Holdem.. i kept on winning.. and the plan was that the winner take a shot.. so i took like three cuz i kept on winning =P anyway, we kept drinking and playing.. then we busted out the tequila.. AND some kahlua -___-;; so basically, we were all pretty messed up last night.. i do remember beating Pep (ghost's brother) at texas holdem even tho i was pretty drunk hehe.. he was like "damnit, i got beat by a drunk person".. oh hellz yah hahaha

anyway, so we woke up the next day all early to drive ghost to the airport.. basically, everyone wasn't feeling too hot.. the mixing of alcohols and the lack of time to sleep it off didn't work too well.. yusuke and ghost were feeling really sick.. i have a feeling i was still slightly intoxicated by the time we had left.. but once i got some food in my stomach, i was good hehe.. and then ghost's mom said the sweetest thing.. she was like "you slimmed up!".. that was nice.. it's good to kno my efforts are noticed by someone..

anyway, we left ghost's house around 8 when we were supposed to BE at the airport by then =P i was pretty in the zone in my car, i smoked something like 4 stoges in 20 minutes while blasting Muse and screaming the words to the songs..

we hit some traffic on the way there.. but we got to the airport around 9AM.. and we went to get ghost checked in but we were in the wrong terminal X___X;; so we took the airtrain to the other one.. Diane and Ray arrived slightly before we switched terminals.. ghost and yusuke were both feeling really terrible.. we bought some coffee and talked for a while before walking ghost to the security gate.. then we said our goodbyes.. and of course, ghost was crying.. yusuke was pretty teary-eyed too right when she disappeared from our sight..

so we saw out ghosto off.. she prolly just arrived there.. (this is me still blogging at 11:30PM when i started around 9:30).. but this is a long-ass blog anyway..

so yah.. then me, diane, ray, and yusuke all parted our ways and headed back home.. i got home around 11:20ish.. then i tried to sleep the after effects of the alcohol but i couldn't sleep cuz of the coffee.. so i took what musta been a 20 minute nap and woke up to my mom coming home with massive amounts of mayonaise (sp?) and penne pasta.. (no, not for putting together).. this weekend is my brother's birthday/house warming/engagement party thingie.. so she's preparing for that..

i have so much cleaning to do =P

i went to the gym today around 5.. bad idea.. i smoked so many cigarettes, i was slightly hungover/recovering from alcohol consumption, and got like no sleep.. so it was bad news all over..

i could barely do full sets and i'd start shaking under the weight at some points.. but i saw kitkat (with his horrible teeth) and waved hello.. then this old guy (he's prolly like 50 or something) who introduced himself to me once was being all sketchy and standing near me in my personal space.. yah that was weird..

gym guy was there tho.. he looked yummy as usual.. with lil green baseball cap.. it's cute when he wears it backwards.. too bad i'm a friggin coward when it comes to talking to guys =P

that was my gym experience today.. i left early cuz i think my body was just not reacting well.. anyway, that's all that happened today..

anyway, i have one more random thing to add.. i had a dream that me and matt Damon were all buddy buddy.. i don't remember much but i just remember joking around with him and us both laughing.. kinda like the Brad Pitt dream i had..

they're both yummy.. let's pray that i have one with both of them in it XD

that's it, all.. my hands are tired from typing this damned much.

-- edited @ 12:39AM.

hiro's sexy.. teeheeee..

^____^b

Feenin' for some Monday, August 23, 2004, 09:23 p.m.

// longest survey ever.. //
sound:

Bold what applies to you:

01. I miss somebody right now ( i usually don't unless it's right after spending long periods of time with someone)
02. I don't watch much TV these days (jeez, if i put all the hours i watch tv exercising, i'd be Callista Flockheart)
03. I love olives (never tried them tho i dun like em on pizza)
04. I love sleeping (you have no idea)
05. I own lots of books (not as many as others but my collection is expanding)
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses (both.. and more recently, my pimptastic Valentino glasses)
07. I love to play video games (never got into them.. i only liked Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat.. i'm more into PC games)
08. I've tried marijuana (nah.. never felt the need to)
09. I've watched porn movies (oh yesh.. it's sad how little quality porn you can find if you don't have Cinemax or SHowtime..)
10. I have been in a threesome (nope.. tho the thought of being in one with two hot males interests me..)
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship (n/a)
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy (basically, if you lie, u'll have to keep on lying and the lies just pile up.. i also feel really guilty about lying.. so i usually don't.. and i say EXACTLY what i'm thinkin)
13. I have acne free skin (not with this small planet below my lip)
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton (on top of everything else, he's got wacked out hair..)
15. I curse frequently (have u read my blog?)
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year (yah, i kinda stopped caring about everything and everyone.. but that's mostly over now.. so let's just say, yes i did change but not for the better =P )
17. I have a hobby (i think writing in blogs is also considered one of them)
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing. (not literally but it was essentially the same thing)
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me (nah, i'd like to not be arrested everyday.. )
20. I'm really, really smart (i like to think i am)
21. I've never broken someone�s bone (not to my knowledge..)
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal (ohhh i have many)
23. I hate the rain (on the contrary.. i heart rain.. unless it's that stupid misty/drizzly rain which i have dubbed "fake rain".. which irritates me beyond reason)
24. I'm paranoid at times (not "at times".. all the time)
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free (yesh but the only thing i'd change is to get rid of these damned stretch marks..)
26. I need money right now! (story of my life)
27. I love Sushi (ohhhh sushi.. want it now.. DAMN YOU SURVEY)
28. I talk really, really fast (i actually talk kinda slow.. unless i'm drunk or nervous)
29. I have fresh breath in the morning (after i brush my teeth, yes)
30. I have semi-long hair (it's pretty long..)
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas (never been.. tho i will be able to bold this after next summer)
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister (un hermano *is that even right? whutever* one brother, John August, 28.. he's a big dorky snowman of a brother.. but he's burning my HxH eps for me so it's allg)
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. (nope.. jersey, born n raised)
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis (i wish i had my brother's hairless legs.. that bastard)
35. I have a twin (nah but if i did, i'd kill it cuz i like having only one me)
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past (i wore fake nails for prom actually.. but that's the only time)
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. (my room doesn't have it, sadly.. then i hafta run to the next room and check if it's a telemarketer)
38. I like the way that I look sometimes (on occasion.. most of the time i just wanna hide in my closet all year)
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months (i.. don't think i have.. i don't usually lie to good friends)
41. I am usually pessimistic (yah, i hope for the worst.. that way if it's good, i'll be ecstatic but if it's bad, then i'll be like "oh, it's just like i thought it would be")
42. I have a lot of mood swings (yah, do u read my blog?)
43. I think prostitution should be legalized (i don't see why not.. )
44. I think Britney Spears is hot (she's got a hot bod that i would die for.. )
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past (n/a)
46. I have a hidden talent (i don't think any my talents are hidden..)
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have (no way.. i need caffeine & sugar to even stay awake)
48. I think that I'm popular (not really..)
49. I am currently single (woot! go me!)
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex (on the cheek? though i have been gnawed, groped and spanked by numerous women.. not to mention the lapdances)
51. I enjoy talking on the phone (not at all.. )
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants (just at home.. i like dressin up when i go out)
53. I love to shop (i am a jersey girl after all)
54. I would rather shop than eat ( those are kinda on the same level.. tho food kinda takes it a lil higher)
55. I would classify myself as ghetto (i live in freehold, home of the rich white boy that thinks he's black)
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders (LOL that'll be the day)
57. I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal (xangas are evil.. LJs aren't that bad tho.. especially cuz of that interesting boyXboy love one)
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them. (i've hated a few in my time)
59. I'm a pretty good dancer (i've been told i'm pretty good.. i'd like to learn how to pop tho cuz it looks so cool)
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington (say what?)
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (when i'm out with my mom i'm all like "MM-HMM that's MY mom.. lookie here!")
62. I have a cell phone (yesh, i do.. shit, i forgot to name it)
63. I believe in God(s)/Goddess(es) (nopers)
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis (wow, i haven't watched MTV in a loooonggg time)
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months (not passed out BECAUSE i was drunk.. but went to sleep while drunk)
66. I love drama (drama is annoying)
67. I have never been in a real relationship before (going stag..)
68. I've rejected someone before (in these last few days actually)
69. I currently have a crush on someone (i'm just lusting over the boys at my gym.. that doesn't count)
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life (i want to be a damned rich and respected business woman)
71. I want to have/adopt children in the future (yah, i want a lot of kids.. and i wanna be that hot mom)
72. I have changed a diaper before (never had the privilege)
73. I've called the cops on a friend before (never had the occasion to)
74. I bite my nails (nah, tho i kno a LOT of people who do)
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club (nah.. i wish i was tho)
76. I'm not allergic to anything (the only thing i'm allergic to is fake jewelry n furry animals)
77. I have a lot to learn (who doesn't?)
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger (n/a)
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube�s newest "Friday" movie (i haven't seen the other ones.. )
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes (nah.. sexual innuendos just flying out like confetti)
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message (my comp barely goes off..)
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved (oh jeez.. a LOT more than 5)
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before (alcohol is my beesssttt friieeennnddd)
84. I have made a move on a friend�s significant other in the past (nope.. tho i have hit on a guy who had a girlfriend that i didn't kno)
85. I own the "South Park" movie (nope.. i wish i've seen it tho)
86. I have avoided assignments at work or school to be on Xanga or Livejournal (i don't have a xanga/LJ.. and i don't avoid work to blog.. i blog to avoid work..)
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum (like house? most likely)
88. I enjoy some country music (COUGH....)
89. I would die for my best friend (i just might.. depending on how angsty i'm feeling)
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (nope.. CHicago pizza rocks.. BUT Pizza Hut is fuckin awesome)
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can (they make me laugh tho with the obscenely terrible acting..)
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist ( yah, i'm a capricorn.. nuff said)
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career (not physically.. i haven't slept with anyone.. but if you're sexual, it will ALWAYS work to ur advantage at work..)
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all (he looks like an albino rat on acid)
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick�s "Children�s Story" (not too sure.. if you started the song, i might say yes.. )
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy (yes and also cuz you get to dress up in sexy costumes and go to parties)
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it (nah, i tried.. but i just don't find it funny)
98. I have dated a close friend�s ex (n/a)
99. I have cut myself before (not on purpose)
100. I am happy at this moment (i'm actually okie right now..)

yah, i did nothing today except wake up, eat, sleep again, and go to the gym..

BUT! i was thoroughly satisfied with going to the gym since there was a many hot manflesh there.. OHHHhhh there was so much.. i wanted to just round it up into a coral and take my time riding each of em..

yah, that's pretty bad.. ^____^;; but that's what i was thinking.. of course there had to be the ugly sketchy black men.. those aren't fun..

oh yah, this extremely jewish woman was talking to me today.. as i was finishing up cardio, she starts talking about how she's all tired.. i don't mind talking.. i just won't initiate conversation..

so i have a nice friendly convo with her and leave right after.. this is also the same woman who had a 20-minute convo with another woman about how she wouldn't send her kids to a Catholic school cuz they'd be Jewish..

amazing.. anyway.. oh! i also watched all the video clips that jun burned onto a CD for me.. ohhhh they were delicious.. of course it was all Gackt..

i didn't realize the Chinese guy in Moonchild didn't speak a lick of Chinese.. he was speaking english the whole time.. thank god cuz that would been yet another thing i wouldn't have understood.. he really liked Gackt tho hehe

of course, i didn't understand much but Hyde was saying how Gackt was more like his older brother.. i just wanted to laugh and say "yah right.. u kno ur boofing"

god, he looked so good on one show where he surprised a Gackt impersonator.. gahhh black suit, red shirt, black tie, red sunglasses, spikey hair..

i heart gackto..

(this comes to no surprise from ANYONE)

anyway, i'm gonna end this right here and try to watch some X-files if Keith (my cousin) is sleeping.. adieu.

Feenin' for some Wednesday, August 18, 2004, 11:55 p.m.

// i feel kinda bad.. //
sound:

i shouldn't have let my 12-year-old cousin watch X-Files cuz he got all scared.. n it's 4am and he's still awake X____X;; my bad..

for some unknown reason i thought he could stomach that kind of stuff (mostly cuz i could at his age)

oh wellz..

today royally sucked..

i woke up around 9:30 after getting 3 hours of sleep.. and took the quickest shower before running out the door to get to my Barbizon session..

on the way there, i opened my moonroof and windows and did some natural blowdrying for my hair.. needless to say, it didn't turn out half bad..

i was actually on time which was good.. then we went through my barbizon session which wasn't too horrible.. i found out that i actually walk kinda sexy-ish.. it's nice..

anyway, the bad thing about this was having woken up so damn early.. i was damned tired.. and i just could not stop yawning.. the worst was that i was sleepy in the car.. i hate being tired while driving cuz i get scared i'll fall asleep at the wheel..

anyway, i got home and took an hour nap.. then i HAD to get up to go to the dentist.. and lo and behold.. after the lady literally stabbed me with sharp dentist tools for a good 10 minutes, i find out later that i have 5 cavities that need to get filled..

first off, i hate dentists.. second, drills are not my cup of tea and not to mention the novacaine that will be injected into my mouth..

i have many many fillings but i don't even remember the last time i had one.. the WORST part is that the last time i went to the dentist, they saw nothing wrong.. now? i have 5 fuckin cavities..

fuckin evil dentists from hell

and not only this.. but it'll cost a fuckin arm and a leg to get all 5 done..

*sighhhh* god fuckin hates me

anyway, i'm gonna end this here.. i'm gonna go to sleep and attempt to wake up early tomorrow to make my cousin some pancakes.. cuz those are fun.

Feenin' for some Wednesday, August 18, 2004, 04:03 a.m.

// i've concluded.. //
sound:

that everyone thinks that i'm a brainless moron..

that includes all my friends, my family, the people i work with in school, and the entire population on earth..

i am, apparently just that idiocy that graces every crowd with its presence in order to be made fun of.. i'm nothing except a person with sex appeal that quips about erotic encounters with hot men.. it's simply my perversion that amuses everyone and nothing else..

i apparently have no substance, no intuiton, no intelligence, no talent, and no personality..

i'm just that annoyingly loud and ignorant being that says stupid things for other people's amusement.. apparently, this is who i am since people tend to portray me this way..

what is akio? akio's sexy.

what about akio's personality? sexy

what about akio's achievements? likes to have sex a lot

yah, i thought so. akio's not creative. akio's not open-minded. akio's not artistic. the way akio's thought of is not much different from that fuckin stupid jock that fucked all the teenage girls at the prom, did drugs during detention, woke up in his own vomit every weekend, and ended up in community college only to work as a toll booth attendant on the new jersey turnpike.. (which is ironically, the kind of person that akio hates most since akio knew and despised many people like that)

the truth is akio has a lot of secrets. the truth is that no one has a fuckin clue who akio is. no one has a damned clue about what akio is capable of, what akio thinks, or what akio wants..

no one knew that akio could sing, dance, write, draw, or play the piano.. no one knew that akio had a 4.30 GPA in high school.. no one knew that akio goes to business school and serves as that detail-oriented, professional, creative and hard-working team member to get the team an A on a project where you don't get A's..

no one knew that.. did they? n guess what? no one ever bothered to ask..

why? cuz it wasn't necessary.. as long as akio continued to amuse everyone with dry/perverted/sexual humor..

it makes you wonder why akio never showed that other side to everyone surrounding him.. why? because no one wanted to see that side.. no one thinks an intelligent, mature, individual with a keen sense of intuition is entertaining..

no, everyone wants that cheerful, happy, funny, and outgoing person instead.. no one wanted what akio really was: serious, sarcastic, and quick to criticize.. a person who could easily pick out every flaw in a person and kno exactly why and how it was developed.. so he became what everyone liked him best as..

the moron who thinks with his dick.

it's odd tho.. u must wonder how often akio must lay awake thinking about the person he has become and hating it.. how he much he puts himself down.. how much he despises himself..

and of course.. how alone he is.

cuz not one person... not one.. understands him.

Feenin' for some Tuesday, August 17, 2004, 04:19 a.m.

// sick of it all.. //
sound:

let's sum up this weekend..

friday, i woke up, cleaned till forever and watched tv till ppl showed up.. ghost and yusuke arrived around 7:30ish.. we hung out and watched TV for a while.. finally around almost 9, the rest of them arrived.. toki, tai, and their friend danny came.. we started talking for a while and eventually left to find a liquor store.. unfortunately none of them were open..

so we arrived at Cornerstone Cafe and ordered some food.. unfortunately, on the way out, a guy from the restaurant came back n said we left no tip.. apparently danny hadn't paid tip when he signed the receipt.. so ghost fronted the tip and we left in a shitty mood..

by the time we got to the house, we were feelin a lil better.. we hung out for a while in the kitchen before heading to the basement.. there, we talked about a whole lot of stuff like what kind of dinosaurs the yakuza would be.. that didn't really go too well considering that we didn't kno that many dinosaur names..

then we drank just a little bit cuz we didn't have much.. but we talked forever.. jun and her boy sweet came.. n they hung out with us for a while.. sweet is a nice kid.. kinda quiet but nice..

then we went to sleep in my living room and woke up around 11ish the next day..

i helped my mom cook fried chicken and pasta with vodka sauce for them.. and we all sat and ate for a while.. afterwards, we watched gackt videos and looked at the Moonchild album i have..

then toki had to go home so they hightailed out..

ghost n yusuke were planning on going to some girl's party.. so we hung around and watched movies till we met up with diane, jen and rowena at FunMania.. then we all drove to this girl Melissa's house.. apparently, diane new her from high school.. i recognized some people there.. but i didn't feel like saying hi to them.. the party was overall just boring and awkward since we didn't know anyone there..

so we left around 10ish and headed to Bridgeway Diner.. there, we had fun talking about ghost stories we had heard and making up scary scenarios that we had to get ourselves out of.. that was fun

after bridgeway, we parted ways and i drove diane, ray, and jen back to FunMania before driving home..

my parents woke me up today around 1 and said we'd be going to mass..

first off, i hate church, i'm atheist and i wanted to sleep more..

so i did.

i slept till around 4 then got up, ate some food and then watched some special on deep sea animals.. then i filled out the survey at the yakuza blog

so go check that out.. ghost posted up horrible pics of me and the rest of the ppl who slept over..

from seeing them, i've concluded that my weightloss goals have gone to hell and i'm still a fat ugly piece of shit that should be buried in the desert..

and guess what tops it all off.. i'm fucking babysitting this week.. monday, tuesday, and wednesday, my 12-year-old cousin will be here and i can't leave the house for more than an hour at a time..

THIS FUCKING SUCKS..

and i can just imagine.. my mom just saying on the phone "oh it's okay, keith can stay here.. christine's not working"

THAT'S RIGHT.. i DON'T have a fucking job... and because of that, my parents have concluded that i am the worst kid ever and that i'm a failure in life..

what? do they think i like being at home all day? do they think i like having to ask them for money?

apparently, because i don't have work, i'm a useless burden on them..

this just adds to me not wanting to be here..

this is why i moved to boston for the majority of the year.. i realized that i absolutely despise everything about where i am right now..

i hate being at home. i miss boston and i fucking hate it here.

so thank god, in a couple of weeks, i'll be gone and this godforsaken place will be hours away.. hopefully next summer, i won't even be coming back to new jersey.. i'm already making plans to stay in boston..

unless i can get a paid internship in the city.. then i can stay here.. and take a long-ass commute up north

but otherwise.. i will not stay in this fucking dump

i can't wait to leave..

Feenin' for some Sunday, August 15, 2004, 06:52 p.m.

// cont'd thoughts @ 3am //
sound:

i finally watched Ghost In A Shell all the way through.. and have concluded that a whole bunch of imagery from the movie was an inspiration to The Matrix.. makers of Matrix claim to have been inspired by anime such as X (the innumerous amount of men in black suits).. but GIAS really reminded me of Matrix's use of technology.. the recurring theme of information is all that makes us what we believe ourselves to be.. what gets fed to our brains and the illusion of fantasy and reality.. also, the way the cyborgs were plugged into cables via the back of the head reminded me a lot of the Matrix..

of course, we all know that The Matrix was solely based off of an anime-like idea.. with reoccuring themes, conspiracy, and of course, amazing visual art.

at any rate, that's what i noticed from GIAS.. also, i just say Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.. a very good movie, btw.. i had not one clue that it was directed by George Clooney.. what was also very amusing was that pretty much the entire cast of Ocean's Eleven was in it.. that includes Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Julia Roberts... Matt Damon and Brad Pitt were only in it for all of two seconds.. BUT still, it was most of the cast teehee..

anyway, i think i'm gonna end this here.. i have a bagel waiting.. cuz.. bagels are fun.. adios.

Feenin' for some Friday, August 13, 2004, 03:52 a.m.

// wakey wakey //
sound:

eggs n bacey..

let seeee.. so today, i started cleaning the house.. i'll do the real thing tomorrow since my parents will just dirty it before everyone gets here tomorrow anyway..

on the other hand, i also went to ikea with govan.. that was mucho the fun tymz.. we like going to ikea cuz it's full of cheap and fun furniture and u can sit and lay around on them..

me and govan found a bed that has armrests.. it was awesome.. then these women came by n saw us laying on it and they were like "what kind of bed is that??? how much is that??" unfortunately we couldn't find the pricetag.. then we went to bridgeway diner which was absolutely delicious..

god, i can't wait to go back to school.. so much partying shall be had.. i swear it..

i will be drunk all 5 days that i have before classes start..

glorious!

arighteez, well, i need to take out my contacts and put on my new pimptastic valentino glasses teehehehehe..

toodlz.

Feenin' for some Thursday, August 12, 2004, 10:44 p.m.

// ohhhhhhhhh...! //
sound:

i forgot to show off my spoils from otakon!! XD

these are my glorious purchases from that heavenly sanctum at otakon known as "the dealer's room"..

my hisoka (HxH) plushie which i snuggled with every second after i bought it

the 4 doujinshin i bought.. the pairings go as follows from right to left:

Leorio X Kurapica (HxH)
Ban X Ginji (GetBackers) oddly enough, i can't figure out who the uke is in this since there's no actual sex.. it seems to be leading more towards ban tho X___X;;
Kakashi X Iruka (Naruto)
Yoshida-sensei X Suzu (PMK)

then there's the 5-piece Naruto postcard set i got.. the postcards are nice.. they have metallic backgrounds.. n they came in a cute gift back teeheee

and last but not list i bought a whole bunch of pins/charms.. that go from right to left: Ban X Ginji keychain, Okita Soujiro wrist band charm (PMK), and 2 pins of chibi Ban & chibi ginji

i also bought a gackt poster but it's currently resting in it's plastic bag of sanctity.. so i'll take a pic of that when i'm ready to put it up.. and i also got a free l'arc poster.. =D tho it's kinda small and everyone that was at the con got one.. =P

that's it, ladies n gentz.. i gotta jet so adios.

Feenin' for some Thursday, August 12, 2004, 03:34 p.m.

// a Filesie.. no.. //
sound:

-- edited @ 3:15PM

WAH! sorrie niiku-chan (hehehe found a name for u pwuahaha.. although ur higher up than i am..... but whutever) i changed ur link.. i did the links at like 4 in the morning so yah.. i wasn't really thinkin right =P i was wondering why it wasn't working -____-;;

*special apology huggles to niikura*

-- end editting.

y'kno how they call Star Trek freaks trekkies? what would they call a person who likes X-files? i've become more and more interested in this show as it deals with twisted people, paranormal activity and the such..

it starts at 12AM and plays till around 3AM.. it's just started getting weird tho cuz Mulder just got abducted and was replaced by some random guy..

yah, i'm a dork..

so today i did nothing except go to the gym.. there was a much larger percentage of hotties there today of which i was highly releived... the power went out in the gym today tho.. it was funny cuz although the lights were out, everyone just kept on working out..

ummm.. yah there's nothing to write about.. i'm bored but i'm having ppl over friday! woot! nighteez to all woot some more!

-- editted at 4AM --

OTAKON PICTURES
i left out the cosplay pics cuz they were random and as we all kno, they're all of ugly people.. i shoulda taken a pic of that cute asian couple that played the older brother and sister from Scrapped Princess gahhh -____-;;

here's pics.. they're in no specific order.. i hosted them on the yakuza domain cuz i have no room on mine.. also, so the yakuza can direct link to their own blogs if they don't mind takin up the bandwidth (i don't even kno how much we have).. ur best bet is to save them all just in case i hafta take them off our domain..

here.. enjoy:
00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 |

sorrie, the pics are a bit large.. u can make them smaller or lower quality if you'd like tho..

i really loved the way number 12 turned out.. the other night pics of baltimore woulda turned out nice had it not been for the evil reflection on the window.. also, my favorite pic of ppl is number 21.. especially cuz i'm not in it =P

also here's a clip of gab and toki tickling tai (who laughs all funny)

it's a short clip but amusing hehe.. enjoy!

Feenin' for some Thursday, August 12, 2004, 02:42 a.m.

// the funny part is.. //
sound: X-files episode \"Chimera\"

is that chimera is the name of the monstrous 4-way funnel that Rossi created for FSA's utter and complete drunken parties..

tho it is actually a mythical greek creature..

anyway, sorrie bout that last blog.. i'm not exactly in the best of spirits..

it's just one of those weeks that things go to hell and it's pretty crappy.. but i'm hoping that this next week will be better..

only three weeks left till school which kinda scares me.. i'm definitely excited to go back to boston but not to classes =P

today, i hung out with govan.. first, we met up at A&P and i bought those pillsbury crescent rolls.. i'm gonna bake those tomorrow or sometime this week.. and then we made pizza at her house n ate it while watching the third Harry Potter.. it was good but i couldn't hear everything so i didn't catch everything..

then she made cookies (yah the food just keeps on coming).. then we parted ways..

i did nothing today, really except finish putting up the other section of my blog... and that's about it.. and here i am blogging.. tomorrow i'll be going to costco to pick up my glasses and to Grand Marquis to look at the reception hall..

anyway, i'm tired.. it's 4AM so i'm gonna end this here.. goodnight.

Feenin' for some Tuesday, August 10, 2004, 03:42 a.m.

// i hate everyone. //
sound:

yes, i've once again gone into "i hate the world and everything in it" mode and i just wanna sleep for the rest of the summer until school is the only thing that occupies my mind..

i'm easily irritated, my parents are being retarded naive goody-two-shoes, some of my closest friends forgot i exist, and i just realized i'm still a fat-ass piece of disgusting lard..

SO! you can say that i'm not exactly thrilled..

let's blog.. about saturday! i woke up around 10:30ish to shower and get ready to drive to govan's house.. my mom pulled some weird shit on me the second i went downstairs.. she goes "christine, let's move back to the philippines".. of course i go "um, why?" and she says "it's too hard here.. the life here is too hard".. so basically that freaked me out a bit.. then i head over to govan's in a hurry and was the first one there.. after hitting up white castle, we drive into the city..

let's make a long story short cuz i don't feel up to delving into details.. we went to the Met (the metropolitan museum of art in NYC, for those out-of-country-ers) and then walked around Times Square for a bit.. for dinner, we went down the the village and went to an asian food restaurant called Dragonfly.. they had filipino food there! i was like woot! my kinsmen! so we ordered a lot of food and a lot of drinks (they didn't card) and hung out while waiting for V and devito.. they arrived like 4 hours later and we all went to some bar that also didn't card as well.. so we sat, drank and watched all the weird-ass people walk by.. we couldn't tell if most of them were men or women.. i guess it didn't make much difference..

the day was overall fun tho v brought some awkward dude with them.. i was expecting more drinking and more outward celebration of govan's close-to-non-teeness but there wasn't much..

so that was it.. i headed home and slept all day today until i made lasagna and watched tv all day..

for all those that wanted to drink in my basement, my parents are being stupid n won't allow it unless you're all 21.. that would be only toki.. they're such fuckin idiots..

i'm 20 fucking years old.. even my brother drank, did drugs and had sex in HIGHSCHOOL.. and they're giving me shit about drinking? jeezus if they had any idea how good i am.. what? suddenly cuz i wanna drink some beer with my pizza, i'm the fucking child of satan?

they're such morons sometimes.

i'm determined to get drunk somewhere else that day just to spite them cuz that pisses me off.. i don't ask for messy wild house parties, i don't leave for days at a time n not telling them, i don't go out with psychotic guys who threaten to kill themselves, and when i tell them "i'd like to have some friends over, they wanna bring some beers .. it's better to drink here than somewhere else that you wouldn't know about", they're all "you shouldn't be drinking if you're not 21.." PLEASE.. like they fuckin didn't do things they weren't supposed to when they were younger..

when i get back to school, i'm getting wasted everyday just to spite them cuz that aggravates me.. and the second i turn 21, i'm having ppl drinking over the house everyday..

fuckin parents.. this is why i hate being at home.. and it's not like we can do it anywhere else.. yusuke's place is in fuckin PA, ghost's house is forever away too, toki's place is out of the question and i have no idea what tai's house situation is like but we can't have it there..

any other way, the plan to get drunk with my friends is fucked unless someone comes up with a genius plan by next friday..

not that anyone cares right now.. no one gives a fuck. everyone's too busy with their own lives to give a shit or to plan anything themselves.. it's fucking pointless..

i don't even know why i bother trying..

Feenin' for some Monday, August 9, 2004, 01:26 a.m.

// ranting some more //
sound:

okay, i was gonna blog about spending the day in the city but i decided i'd like to rant on and on about one subject that truly kills me: the music industry.

out of all the emerging artists that are coming out now, the new songs and the breakthroughs, i have only found one person with real talent..

and sadly, that's Christina Aguilera.. that girl has a set of pipes like no other and she has not ceased to amaze me with her voice..

as much as i wanna persecute her for being a dirty disgusting horrible prostitute-like person, yah, she's still a great singer..

let's start bashing! woot!

let's talk about the so-called "divas" of today..
let's start with J.Lo.. okay, Jennifer Lopez needs to throw her damn self off of a cliff while setting herself on fire and convulsing due to large amounts of blood loss from giant leeches sucking her inards out of her giant ass..

let's face it. the woman can't sing. she has the singing ability of "that white woman that sings okay in the karaoke bar on tuesdays".. no range, no control, no pitch, no flash, nothing.. if whitney was a symphony orchestra, J.Lo is a one-note-at-a-time midi file... AND! she can't dance for shit.. yah, she can do all that latin shit, fine.. afterall, she's latino.. but she should NEVER. EVER. IN HER WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. dance hip-hop.. she looks like her muscles have gone into epilleptic seizures and she has suddenly become crosslegged while doing the achy-break heart..

the bitch needs to get off the music scene and back on the screen which EVEN THERE is fuckin mediocre.. who in GODS NAME found this woman obscenely talented?? she's NOT.

okay, moving on from J.Lo to my favorite diva... Beyonce. omg.. wow. I don't even really know what to say about this woman.. I will admit, her voice is pretty good. She's got a lot of control, volume, pitch, and SHIT does she have a lot more flash than she needs to have. One note suddenly becomes 20.. and her songs turn from melodic to damn confusing.. Her producer/song writers are also quite catchy.. n they kno what they're doing.. let's go to her looks.. i don't think that she's attractive.. her face is kinda pretty.. but her nose really super horribly bothers me.. and everyone talks about how her booty is so great.. yah, it's nice to have a nice ass and i'll admit that it's not too bad.. but her thighs.. UGH.. her thighs are the very reason why i think she is so unattractive.. i see them and i wanna cringe and just tell her to hide them.. wear a moomoo for christ's sake.. just please please don't throw them around like two christmas hams for everyone to see cuz they are so not sexy to me..

i have big thighs and they are the most revolting thing on my body.. that's why i fuckin hate my body and for people to say that beyonce is so perfect and hot and her body is bangin makes me sick.. cuz i just see disgusting big fat thighs that shake in all the wrong ways.. she is so not attractive, her voice is way too flashy, her songs are overplayed, and she created the fucking word "bootylicious" which just adds to the utter stupidity of the culture i'd like to call American culture..

Jessica Simpson.. please don't get me started about how i want to strangle her in 50million ways and throw her into a boiling vat of tanning oil.. she's fuckin stupid. period. tho she sings her heart out.

Linkin Park! i used to love this these fuckers.. oh yes, i used to listen to their CD for daaayyss and i still have all of them memorized.. YET i lost a whole shitload of respect for them when instead of putting out a new album, they put out a fucking REMIX ALBUM.. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? GREAT, let's listen to the songs that we've been listening to for the past year.. but just a LITTLE different.. why don't u try being more fuckin creative to sell records? and now their new stuff came out.. i hated the first song.. it was repetitive and annoying.. "Breaking a Habit" is much better but the lyrics could change a bit..

needless to say, my Linkin Park feelings have flushed down the drain and they have now become one of the many bands that i like for only one or two songs..

OH! the hip-hop industry LOLOL OMG.. i could cry.. it's TERRIBLE.. no one's got a fuckin message anymore.. you wanna kno what the message is? "you've cheated on me, i'm dumping you" "someone else is having my baby, i've cheated on you" "let's have sex" "you have a big booty" "let's have sex again" "i'm a pimp".. these are the messages of hiphop music now.. no longer do they talk about the struggle of black artists in their rise against adversity.. now they're too busy giving spelling lessons to everyone that don't know how to spell "pimp".. telling everyone about their 30-inch wheels n chrome rims and their crystal.. "look what i have, and you don't".. that's the message to everyone now..

i swear.. after the thong song, everything went downhill.. songs were no longer about love or devotion, they became about girls with big asses that'll give it up quickly

no wonder the entire population under 15 have all become JAILBAIT.. wearing short pleated skirts and off the shoulder tanktops.. PLEASE.. u don't have the genital development to be wearing something that provocative..

OH GOD.. let's talk about the Slow Motion song by Juvenile.. let's reflect on the lyrics "MMM, I like it like that. She's working that back. I don't know how to act." CAN WE SAY FOURTH GRADE GRAMMAR??? not only is about some girl's ass, it's also written like a 10-year-old is checkin out the girl's ass..

is that really what we should all be subjected to? what happened to songs that had meaning and had an influence on people instead of just talking about how much you can't control your hormones?

USHER.. omg.. i used to like his songs.. now it just kills me to hear it.. he's got 3-4 singles out and their playing his old shit too.. OVEREXPOSED USHER.. i hate him now

OUTKAST! i used to respect them so much for their original style and for not giving a shit what people thought about the way their dressed.. but Hey-Ya really just wanted to make me shoot myself.. Hey-Ya is NOT a hip-hop song.. if you hear flute-like musical instruments in the background, it's NOT FUCKING HIP-HOP.. so don't use the fuckin song as a hip-hop song and try to make hip-hop moves to it.. do you understand that this song is the "let's chill, drink some sodapop and eat some ice cream on the lawn" song? YOU DO NOT CHOREOGRAPH HIP-HOP DANCES TO THIS SONG.. and it's just because it was made by OutKast, everyone's like "ooooo it's the new Outkast song! we all have to do dances to it cuz it's their newest hit and their super cool".. HOW BOUT U LOOK LIKE FUCKIN IDIOTS..

AND! they put out a song about some girl's SHIT.. i mean, i kno it's all bout this girl who thinks she's better than she is.. but the focus of this song is shit... it's about fecal matter, it's about bodily excrement.. and yet everyone and their mom is walking around singing it like it's beyond all points of inspirational.. "THIS SONG ROCKS, IT'S ABOUT SHIT"

wow.. i just have to applaud you.. singing the word "poopoo" in an adult-written song is just not something to be proud of..

i fuckin hate American music.. everyone just needs to keel over and die..

it's 4AM.. i need sleep.. more on this some other time.

Feenin' for some Sunday, August 8, 2004, 03:10 a.m.

// *SPLAT* survey pie in yo' face! //
sound:

-- copied n pasted from toki's blog

F I R S T S

First best friend: Faith.. yah, everyone that found out her name would start singing that song that goes "Keep the faith, faith faith".. it was annoying.. she's still my fetus friend now actually.. (fetus friends being friends u've had since u were a fetus)
First car: a Toyota Camry.. i forgot what year.. but it was grey..... what the hell happened to that car? O.o;;
First crush: some kid named wyatt.. a white kid at the YMCA (yah, how sad is this?)
First real kiss: some random black dude in a club.. i found out later his name was William and he wanted to be a model.. you can imagine how i sprung for him after =P
First break-up: never had a bf so breaking up would be damn near impossible
First piercing/tattoo: got my ears pierced when i was too young to talk..
First credit card: i actually only got it like a couple of months ago.. my PNC Bank Mastercard..
First true love: haven't had one yet, sadly
First enemy: enemmyyy.. hrm, that would be Tracy Cognetta from 7th grade.. she hated me because the teachers loved me and i could away with anything
First musician you remember hearing in your house: um.. i think it was Bette Midler

L A S T S.

Last cigarette: at pines an hour and a half ago when toki bummed one off some random guy
Last car ride: ride? not drive? hrm.. that would be wednesday with my mom coming back from Menlo
Last good cry: hrm.. it prolly wasn't too long ago but i can't think of it now
Last library book: oh jeez.. prolly some time this semester when i was doing research for my Organizational Behavior paper
Last movie seen: parts of Diabolique
Last beverage drank: hrm.. prolly the leftover sake from Benihana that i finished so that toki wouldn't drink it all
Last food consumed: Vanilla Swiss Almond Haagen Daz icecream in a wafer cone
Last crush: big crush? gavin.. last lust? gym guy/cute italian guy at gym
Last phone call: called my dad to tell him to call my brother
Last time showered: around 3 this afternoon
Last CD played: a mix CD that i made for my car.. it's got everything on it, from Britney Spears to FAKE?
Last annoyance: that would be the two cars on the highway that weren't going slow or fast enough for me to pass them.
Last disappointment: um.. oh! thinking that i overslept but finding out that my clock was an hour early
Last word you said: "okay" to my dad...

F U T U R E.

Where do you want to go?: Pizza Hut LOLOL i'm hungry again
Your career going to be?: hopefully some filthy-rich business woman with manwhores on the side
Where are you going to live?: boston or nyc
Do you want any kids?: yesh, many of them.. big ones! small ones! some as big as your head!

C U R R E N T S.

Current mood: somewhat excited but sleepy at the same time
Current taste: smoke and eclipse spearmint gum
Current clothes: flare blue jeans and a gray v-neck tank
Current longing: pizza.. what the hell is up with me and pizza this summer?
Current favorite artist: i'm guessing this has to do with music so i'll say FAKE?
Current book you're reading: umm.. The Stranger (summer reading from HS i never did) and a looootttt of manga namely, GetBackers, BattleRoyale, and FAKE
Current time-wasting wish: to win the lottery in order to pay my college tuition for the next two years, pay for grad school, help my brother with his wedding expenses and buy my dad a beamer, and have a gathering of ALL the yakuza in the city or in hawaii, and to bring all of k2c to texas to visit trina

W H A T S.

What's in your CD player?: upstairs? a whole lot of YG cds.. and in my car is my mix CD still
What color socks are you wearing?: i'm not wearing sox.. teeehehehee
What color of underwear are you wearing: light purple.. they're sexy pwuahahaha
What's under your bed?: my bed has no "under", the bedframe is solid hehe.. thank god or else i'd lose everything for years and years
What time did you wake up today?: umm.. let's not say cuz it was really super late when i was supposed to wake up around 9:30..

yaayyyyy! that's done! now let's blog about today!

i was supposed to wake up early n go to the gym but yah, that didn't happen.. so i woke up, showered and withdrew money to give to toki to repay her for otakon.. and then i drove to Benihana.. i got there and waited for toki n tai.. n we got in, drank hot sake, ate sushi n gyoza n some awesome banana dessert.. theeennn we went to the mall (cuz we're jerseyian afterall).. and first we went into the Disney store and played with the Finding Nemo plushies and then we took a picture of tai with a pirate hat on holding a Peter Pan knife that was still in the box LOL

then on we went to go visit jun.. luckily she was at work at Delia's so we chilled with her and had a cigarette outside of Champps (the restaurant).. we noticed there were abnormally large amounts of white ppl there..

so we get back in and bring jun back to Delia's.. n tai noticed me checking some guy out teehee XD thennnn.. where the hell did we go? i think we went to Barnes N Noble after that and looked for some manga which they didn't have.. then we headed back to the mall and went to Suncoast where they also didn't have FAKE 3.. grrrr X___X

aannnddddd.. then after that i think we went to Haagen Daz and i got some ice cream while the other two got a Bailey's shake.. and then we walked around some more randomly.. i think we went into a store.. i can't remember which one tho.. then we went to Bath & Body works where toki tried on like 20 different fragrances to find out which one tai liked most.. it turned out to be the scent i use now.. i bought some cotton blosson bodywash since the other kind i bought smells kinda funky..

anyway, then after that, we headed to pines and played a couple of games.. i kept losing by default.. i kept getting the 8-ball in the wrong friggin pocket..

that was cool tho.. i saw kelvin there! it was amazing.. at first, i thought he was some random guy that was coming up to us.. but then i recognized him and gave him a biiiiggg hug hehe

then toki had to go home so we left.. nnn i drove home n told my dad about plans to go to the city tomorrow for govan's birfday.. so basically everything's all set..

i have cash thankfully so that's one less thing i hafta do before i leave..

also, i'm having a get together on friday night at my house.. drinking/sleepover in my basement so anyone that's in the area that wants to go (that i kno, of course) is more than welcome to give me a call..

that's about it.. i hafta get up early tomorrow so i'ma end this here.. adios.

Feenin' for some Friday, August 6, 2004, 11:29 p.m.

// my bologna has a first name.. //
sound:

have you noticed how bologna is spelled absolutely nothing like it's pronounced? which makes me wonder if the people in Bologna, Italy actually pronounce it as "bah-lone-ee" or meant to make it sound like that.. or if stupid Americans decided to give yet another word a pronounciation that has nothing to do with the letters involved, as most American words make no damn sense..

WAIT! i forgot..

"it's O-S-C-A-R! myyy bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R!"

i sadly don't know the rest of the words.. now how can i call myself American?

anyway, let's blog about today.. today i did virtually nothing except wake up, and go to the gym... there were once again no hotties at the gym which gets me frustrated.. the gym is a lot more boring when there aren't any.. and the time goes by much much slower..

but there were two really fat ugly girls there with way too much make up on.. and one of them was criticizing 80s music.. i was sitting there thinking "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE LAUGH AT 80's MUSIC, BITCH.." cuz they weren't born to be old enough to appreciate it.. *SIGGHHHH*

die evile spawns of satan.. and there was this delicious blond dilf there tho.. i see him on occasion..

YUM. wow, he's beyond delicious.. i remember when i signed up or when i saw govan at the gym, we saw him in the backroom and she was making these faces like "OH MY DEAR GOD" and yah, he's yummy..

he was pretty much the only eye candy i had the whole night, sadly..

and then i got back here.. toki's sending me some Muse songs.. i'm excited about that woot!

i'm gonna hang out with her and tai tomorrow at Benihana.. hopefully they serve us sake cuz i'm killin for some

then saturday, its govan's b-day and we're going to the city.. that should be fun..

*sigh* i should really start my summer assignment for class.. i only have three weeks left..

*sigh* school's coming faster than i'd like it to (teehee, coming teeeheeeee XD ) yah, i'm dirty..

anyway, i'm gonna end this right here.. i stayed up much later than i thought i would..

that's it ladies n gentz.. bloopiez to all.. and to all a good bloopiez.

Feenin' for some Friday, August 6, 2004, 12:55 a.m.

// dreams, locks, n eyesight //
sound: why am i never listening to anything?

i discovered the other day that around 12:30 in the morning, they start airing old X-Files episodes.. this was a show that i used to love when i was younger.. i had the books, the trading cards (i still have those actually, they're in my drawer upstairs).. anyway, i started watching them to reestablish myself with the creepiness that is X-files.. in the middle of the second episode that was about some guy that got bitten to death by rattlesnakes that disappeared without a trace, i began to dose off.. so i headed off to bed..

as i was sleeping, i had an odd dream.. it had something to do with the brownstone i'm moving into next year.. i was moving things up the stairs but in order to get to the 4th floor (the floor that i'll be living on next year), i had to walk up to the 15th floor and walk down to the fourth floor.. SO i was carrying something really heavy and on the way up, my legs gave way.. btw, the stairs were narrow and one side had no wall so you could fall all the way down..

so i start stumbling and my eyesight became like i was drunk..

so finally, i get down to my floor.. then all i remmeber is two people (that i knew in the dream) and they were laughing at me.. because they basically thought i was an imbecile..

so i tell them "okay, you think i'm stupid, incompetent, and lazy.. well, i am lazy, i'll give you that.. but i am by no means stupid or incompetent".. of course they just sat there laughing and not believing me..

that was basically all i remember from the dream..

that part really bothered me.. not cuz i was being made fun of (well, that wasn't exactly pleasurable either) but i realized how many people think i'm just a pretty face and a fucking idiot..

nevermind that i'm intuitive, can memorize things in minutes, can solve a problem or figure out how to use something in minutes, and can read a person inside out after being around them for all of 10 minutes..

*yawn* okay i'm too tired to stay bitter.. let's sum up this day.. woke up, showered, went to the mall n tuesdays with the mom, then to sterling to pick up contact lenses and then to costco to order my glasses (lot of eyecare things today).. then shopped around costco a little, picked up my dad from the train station and then went to menlo to pick up my dad's glasses (yah this keeps going) then ate japanese food from the food court (which i will never eat again cuz i threw it up around 20 minutes ago.. yes, gross but true)..annnd here i am.. i skipped the gym yet AGAIN.. yah, my loss of size this summer has just gone to hell..

anyway, i'm sleepy so i'm gonna end this here.. goonight.

Feenin' for some Wednesday, August 4, 2004, 10:08 p.m.

// i started before //
sound:

but i have something quite similar to ADD so that i didn't end up finishing..

aright so let's clear some things up.. there seems to be some confusion with the title of my blog.. let me, first off, talk about what the layout entails (since i'm too lazy to html it on the side like i plan on doing some time)..

the layout features Ryuunen Akio aka "THE Akio" or "The Playboy", a fictional character from ongoing written series by Lez aka Toki.. Akio happens to be modeled off of my personality after i was picked to embody him in real life.. in other words, he is my fictional male-alter-ego.. Akio is a top head of a Japanese crime syndicate named 36Moons

for more informtion, please check out the official 36Moons website if you're interested in reading the story..

anyway, the song that is used in this layout is "THe Hollow" performed and written by A Perfect Circle .. the song tells about satisfying desires, not necessarily talking only about sex but rather about everything that a human may desire.. that includes money, power, fame.. even things as simple as food and comfort.. the song says a lot about human nature.. man and his constant need for more than what he already has.. instant gratification that lasts only a short while.. almost like a fix.. feeding an addiction only to have the feeling go away in a flash and wanting more.. "constantly consuming, conquer and devour" (lyrics in the song)..

the title of my blog "Slake this lust, fill this void" says plainly that.. "slake" means "satisfy" or "quench".. if you didn't kno that, don't worry, you're no the only one..

so! let's move on from that description and talk about otakon.. it was fun. end of story. if you want a detail description, read on toki's blog

i really don't feel like blogging about since i kno i'll get too lazy and never finish this blog..

let's just say it was fun, i got pictures taken of me, i had fun with the people there, and it was full of really fuckin hot times..

and larc was amazing.

the end.

let's move on.. today was a pretty crappy day.. i'm not sure why but i'm getting highly annoyed by just about everything nowadays.. i'd say that it's approaching that time of the month but i think i just finished my last one..

so! that's not an option.. basically, i'm just ticked at everything for no reason.. so let's start with today.. i was super tired.. i could not get up for shit.. when i finally got up, it was around an hour and a half later than i was supposed to wkae up.. then after not being able to find anything that i needed, i ran out of the house and got stuck behind a whole shit load of slow-ass drivers today.. got to barbizon 20 minutes late.. then that was okie.. i found out however from the warddrove and fashion class that i'm wearing all the wrong colors.. anyway, so i leave, go back home and just start doing things..

then i head off to the gym.. the gym was blessedly free of hot guys (this is a bad thing).. then everyone and their mom decided to use the machines i needed to go on.. so i ended up waiting around, not wanting to be there, bored from lack of manflesh, and being just tired in general, i left early and skipped my second cardio workout.. then i drove home behind slow-ass annoying drivers yet AGAIN.. got home, where there was nothing to eat.. then i start talking online..

let's just say that didn't end well and i'm not naming names cuz its not just one person in particular..

btw, does anyone wanna go with me to boston this weekend? its my friend's birthday and she's having a party so anyone that's willing to go, let me kno cuz i'd rather not drive by myself..

yah, i realized a lot of things today that i'm not too happy with.. like the position i play in my present friendships, what ppl prioritize, and how i love to do things by myself for very specific reasons..

anyway, i'm gonna end this here.. leave me a message if you're not too busy doing something else more important..

Feenin' for some Wednesday, August 4, 2004, 12:44 a.m.

// yah, let's blog forreal.. //
sound: commercials on tv

sorrie about that test blog.. i was testing the new comment thingy that i put so the comments and the blog entry are kinda ridiculous..

LET'S BLOG! i did nothing today woot! well... actually, i took a shower, went to marshalls n bought the rest of the material for my cosplay..

today was full of extremely slow drivers that i wanted to behead with a piece of floss.. it was terrible.. i wanted to cry..

at any rate, that was that.. went to the gym (of course).. not too much happened today minus the new cute regular i've been seeing these past couple of days.. i shall refer to him as "yellow pants" since the first time i saw him, he was wearing pale yellow pants and a black wife beater.. absolutely delicious this boy is.. i think he's italian (god, i see my italian fetish hasn't waned).. he's got basically the same build as gym guy but a lil thicker.. prolly around the same height if not a lil taller.. and his face is absolutely adorable i just wanna hug him like a big buff teddy bear with some serious deltoids..

cutie pie ^___^ he brought hot friends to the gym today.. it made me happy.. tho both of his friends wore really not-flattering shirts.. one had a black wifebeater but it had an ugly graphic on the chest that was just cheesy looking and the other was wearing a green tanktop that just clung in all the wrong places.. that's not fun..

i think he was following me around a lil today hehe.. such a cutie pie.. i wanna pinch his cheeks.. ^____^

gym guy's got some competition hehe

otherwise! i must go finish my cosplay.. there's a lot of work to be done and i don't have much time tomorrow.. SO! this shall be the end of this entry..

now i have that haloscan comment box thingie so please leave a comment if you feel the need.. i heart you all!

Feenin' for some Wednesday, July 28, 2004, 09:42 p.m.

// gah gah goo goo //
sound: testing testing

teeescoodeebopfahrahwah.

hellooooooo

Feenin' for some Wednesday, July 28, 2004, 09:37 p.m.

// well, you guessed it //
sound: the fan

a brand new layout! woot!

unfortunately i have no tagboard or links up yet cuz i'm lazy.. n lazy hehe.. also, tagboards seem to be spazzing out so i decided not to put one up.. i may switch to one of those message thingies like toki has..

at any rate, look at this! teehee.. that's me! (well, not me.. but) that's right, yet another blog that has akio on it.. teeheee..

it's purdy.. smooshies to niikura for makin the beautiful layout ^___^

anyway, this layout of course, features akio (my male alter ego to those who don't kno).. i wasn't planning on using that pic but it turned out okay in the end..

after this i think i want a layout with eclipse (DD) on it.. he's yummy.. or mebbe kazuki from Get Backers..HRMMM..

anyway, i put this up even tho i should be working on my cosplay for one reason: i wanted to blog and i didn't want to with my old layout

SO! let's blog, shall we? otakon is 2 days away which scares me cuz my akabane coat has no sleeves right now.. (not good, ne?) HOPEFULLY, i'll be finished with everything by tomorrow cuz hey, i don't want to be working on it all thursday since i hafta get up at the ass-crack of dawn friday to drive to the con SO!

that's slowly but surely getting done..

THEN.. let's talk about the gym.. i will tell you right now that the men at my gym are really hot.. it's no wonder that i walk out of it and look disdainfully upon the male population of the world because i'm so used to seeing such grade-a manflesh everyday (no offense to any males who read my blog).. SO! today, i stroll into the gym, immediately i see that the gym is full.. it's raining (meaning no one's at the beach) and it's a tuesday which is when most ppl go to the gym for some unknown reason..

the gym is filled with "the hot guys" which is basically guys from 20-30 years old that wear nicely fitting shirts with big muscles, yada yada.. along with "the hot girls" which is girls from 16-20 years old that very apparently have no idea what they're doin yet they command quite a bit of attention from "the hot guys"..

there's shifts.. let me explain:
1) the no one shift: there's no one at the gym minus like two ppl
2) the DILF shift: the Dad-I'd-Like-To-Fuck shift is when the fulltime workers come in and work out.. this is when the hot dads come out.. this shift also merges with "the hot guy shift" around 6-8PM since they're out of work
3) the loser shift: the time of day when no one's there and the fat and ugly ppl work out.. together. i'm usually in this shift but work out so long that it breaks into the "hot guy" shift..

4) the hot guy shift: around 6-8 when the gym is busiest, but never on the weekends..

SO! i go in today at around 5.. (i was late cuz i was cleaning and needed to take a shower).. get in, work out, get disgusted by the sick teenage girls that are doing crunches so wrong that they'll end up with a neckache tomorrow (hehehe).. then i head out n start the machines.. start doing legs.. lo and behold, who do i see when doin the calf machine? gymm guyyyy..

gym guy (as we all kno) is the guy i've been blogging about since 12th grade.. a gorgeous filipino guy with nice biceps n a great ass.. *ahem*

anyway, this summer i've only seen him on a rare occasion.. tho we basically wouldn't pay any attention to each other.. and i'd usually arrive just as he was leaving or the opposite.. i figured its good since we used to play stupid "let me follow you around the gym" games..

so today.. i saw him out of the corner of my eye.. he was on the benches.. gym guy hasn't changed much since two years ago.. his hair changes tho.. the first time i saw him, he had cornrows, then he cut his hair short.. now it's longish n wavey.. he looks kinda fob which makes me laugh but he's still a cutie..

SO i just hang out, figure it would be like every other time i saw him this summer n proceeded to check out some other guys (since jeez, there are so many).. then i move on to some other machines.. THEN when i thought that the "let me follow you around the gym" thing was over.. alas.. it wasn't.

as i did bicep curls, he would just very "casually" (yah right) walk back and forth in front of me with some guy who was spotting him.. the two of them glancing at me while they passed.. then for some reason, they had a conversation RIGHT in front of the machine i was using and i was facing them.. SO i thought "jeezus, this again".. i move on to other machines.. lo and behold, gym guy plants himself on a machine right in my eyes' view.. i find this quite amusing actually LOL.. of course, i look at him but then i move my gaze again.. basically to every other hot guy in the gym (there's many others that i see on a regular basis).. so since there are ppl using the machines i planned on using, i start legs again.. now this is the clutch.. this machine is where u basically sit down and open and close ur legs.. no matter how you look at it, the machine looks really dirty.. govan dubbed it the "pervert machine" since the guys like to go on the machines right in front of them and watch (tho they pretend not to)..

anyway, so i go on those (they are GREAT for inner and outer thigh exercise).. as i'm on them, i recall govan saying how she loves the machines but thinks they're dirty (shit even i think they're dirty and i'm a girl).. and she goes "uh-uh don't go on those shoulder machines" making the motion of the machines that directly face the "pervert machines".. and then guess what? ohh, you know it. as i'm doing the second one where u push ur legs open, gym guy starts using the machine right in front of me.. (one of those machines that govan described.. luckily he wasn't facing me).. i couldn't help but grin to myself.. this was just funny.. i wanted to laugh out loud so hard but i tried really hard not to.. first off, we were playing this stupid fucking game of gym tag.. n here he was like a foot away from me as i opened and closed my legs veerrryyy slowly..

to make things worse.. one of the cute trainers that's tall n blonde n gorgeous starts dancing around to a song that was playing right in front of wear gym guys was which was needless-to-say cute n i tried to hide my smile.. THEN the hot italian fucking-huge buff trainer came n the pretty girl trainer (i really need to find out their names) starts teaching him ballet positions.. which could help but just smile n laugh a little since this ridiculously buff guy was trying to do plee-ays (NO idea how to spell that but that's the pronunciation).. anyway, so gym guy is on this machine in front me.. his back is facing me and i just see his muscles and everything at work here.. it was very enjoyable.. THEN he gets up and starts stretching his chest muscles on the machine.. mind you from the position i was in, i had a clear view of his body from the chest down he is seriously 2 feet away from me..

so he starts stretching.. his shirt lifts up n i see his boxers.. they were white with blue and green stripes LOL.. i can see his sprint flip-phone that was attached to his belt.. the zippers on his pants, everything.. ohh i just wanted to reach out n grab it..

he knew i was sitting right there looking forward and that i was very obviously staring at his middle area.. let's say he knew he was putting on a little show for me..

i found this really really amusing.. in all the years i've seen this kid, he's never done that..

so, i head toward a machine that was occupied and i had to skip.. then he finally ends the gym tag session and leaves..

i'm sorry, but i wanted to laugh.. he's really hot but i don't see why he can't just turn around and say "hello".. is it so fucking hard? he was SO damn close to me.. a foot to his right and he'd be in my lap..

and it makes me wonder.. was he expecting me to say something? WHY DO MEN EXPECT ME TO SAY SOMETHING FIRST?? they don't do that for any other girls in the world but for some reason, they won't speak to me unless i say the very first word..

anyway, i was actually expecting him to say to me.. after following me around the gym so extremely blatantly, i was expecting him to finally just say "hi" or "hey, what's up?" or SOMETHING.. but no.. that didn't happen while i was sitting on that machine for a good 5 minutes..

so this is the deal.. i will talk to him the next time i see him (IF i ever see him again this summer).. i'll atleast say something like "are u done on that machine?" (even tho i prolly won't need to use that machine).. but something.. just so we can end this stupid game of tag..

anyway, so he left.. it made me slightly sad but i had had quite a dosage of him today so i moved on to the yummy korean boy n his friend.. i'm not sure but i think they're still in highschool.. the korean boy is tall n thick.. he kinda reminds me of kwan sang woo (the famous dude).. his friend i think is italian.. not sure, thick n handsome tho.. then i oogled the italian trainer n blonde trainer for a while.. there's a bunch of other regulars i recognized.. then on to cardio n then went home..

today was full of hotties at the gym.. thank god for it or else i would be so amazingly bored this summer..

well, that's it for tonight.. i'm gonna finish painting the scalpels for my cosplay n throw in the sack..

hope you like my layout.. n sorrie i talk about the gym so much (it's basically all i've got going for me).. but that's about it.. adios

Feenin' for some Tuesday, July 27, 2004, 11:06 p.m.